Struggle through the jungle; hardships beginning. Black-legs, engaged owing to strike amongst _Dokkas_, or native porters, fast dwindling, owing to energetic picketing with poisoned arrows from behind trees by small brown dwarfs. Pursued one, and after boxing his ears severely, dismissed him with threat of telling his mother. Jungle almost impassable. All heavier baggage sent on to Central Africa by Parcels Delivery. After four days' wandering, the Lady Guide, who had been represented as "thoroughly conversant with the district," began to cry and said she had lost the path. Dismissed her on the spot, paying her return fare, though under no _legal_ obligation to do so. Really _too_ ridiculous to attempt to conduct a party through the Dark Continent with nothing but an ordnance map of Epping Forest! Long and fruitless search for track; fortunately, just as despair reached climax, met a _Koppah_ (or native policeman) and asked him--turned out to be only just round the corner. On the main road again; Passed a native caravan of nomad _Djipsis_. Bought a hearth-brush and door-mat. At mid-day, took the sun with portable camera. Sun moved and spoilt negative. Made some observations. Reached native village--N'yutoihigama. Much struck by native method of ascending palms for cocoa-nuts, carrying letters, wrestling, &c. Visited King MAHBUL of Pigzinklovaland. Much interested by efforts of King with his three favourite wives, all under influence of _Pombé_ or palm-beer, to roll into royal kraal. On again; progress obstructed by the _Nekkids_ of Nuffintowara, who seemed bent on giving battle. Sent messenger to King with present of shirt-studs, after which allowed to pass unharmed. Further on, stopped by band of _Grimi-Grubbas_, who evidently meant being nasty. Called to them pleasantly in native tongue, "_Cheke-bobo-nangu-yanzi-toorali_?" (Good-morning, have you used Scours' Soap?) Found they hadn't, and presented them with a packet, also with brushes and other articles of the toilette, of which they were in great need. Came to open space near N'yumarkiti. Saw some _Darckorsis_ running in and out of brushwood in highly suspicious manner. Found on inquiry that they were only "out for an airing" not "on the job." Much relieved. Conference with King M'rora of the Wezijiji tribe; trumpets sounded as soon as he was done. Discovered large river of colour of strong green tea. Named it the Sir Wilfrid Lawson. Entered territory of the Rumboozi people. Their king, MOPZANBRUMZI, offering his services as guide. MOPSANBRUMZI most cordial, but much too drunk to be of any material assistance. Once powerful intellect now, alas! degraded. Made a long speech in the Ikkupi dialect--quite unintelligible. MOPZANBRUMZI presented with a small tin of Royal Mail Red Paint, with which, when the expedition left, he was proceeding to decorate the vicinity.