"That for your sakes here present, and for the sake of all the wise, and energetic, and right-hearted men of Ireland who have to do with this building, and with your roads, and railways, and schools, and the like, I will henceforth wage even more merciless and exterminating war than hitherto with the humbug Irish patriots (dupes or tools), who tarnish the name of a nation which can rear and fill an edifice like this." A shout which made the good SIR JOHN BENSON'S broad arches ring again and again. And, as it subsided, there came forth from the crowd of ladies, whose eyes all turned affectionately on the new comer, a stalwart presence. _Mr. Punch_ sprang up. "This is your work!" he exclaimed. "Don't say it is not, WILLIAM DARGAN, because I know it is, and because England knows it too, and holds your name in honour accordingly." That day's proceedings are not reported further. But all _Mr. Punch's_ friends who wish to please him will have the goodness to run over to Dublin, and see the finest sight which will be seen between this and the First of May next. * * * * * A NEW TURN IN THE TEMPERANCE MOVEMENT. A real, genuine, out-and-out Teetotaller says he likes this Table-turning vastly; for, though it keeps folks to the table, still it keeps them from the bottle. "The table may go round," he says, "but the wine does not circulate." There may be more in this teetotaller's chuckle than wine-bibbers imagine. We ourselves have heard an instance of a wealthy City man, who is nearly as mean as the MARQUIS OF NORTHMINSTER, who spares his Port regularly, by proposing to his company, as soon as the cloth is removed, that "they should try a little of this table-moving that is so much talked about." The decanters are removed, and he keeps his company with their fingers fixed upon the mahogany, until Coffee is announced. We warn all persons who are in the habit of dining out, against lending their hands to this favourite trick. * * * * * "PROVIDED ALWAYS." Though, perhaps, not strictly within our province to attend to the Commissariat of any but ourselves, we beg leave to announce that we have undertaken to supply the whole of the Camp at Chobham with chaff. * * * * * THE AUTHOR OF SCOTCH BEER.--We lately read an advertisement of a book entitled _The Scottish Ale-Brewer_. The author's name is ROBERTS; but it ought to have been MAC ENTIRE. * * * * * CRYSTAL NUNNERIES. Ye reverend Fathers, why make such objection, Why raise such a cry against Convents' Inspection? Is it not just the thing to confound the deceivers, And confute all the slanders of vile unbelievers? It strikes me that people in your situation Should welcome, invite, and court investigation, As much as to say, "Come and see if you doubt us; We defy you to find any evil about us."