I'm a free indepent Brish Elector--I swear--
And I'll have s'more bremwarra--anbanish dullcare!--
I know I've a trustodischarge in my vote,
And my countryexpex--I shall getfipunnote!
At 'lecksh'n shey 'n vied me to come up anget
Some breakf'st--so I did--an' I drank--an' I eat--
At the Chequers this was--zhere was morebesides me--
And not one blessed shixpence--to forkout had we.
Dropowhisky I had; bein' indishpo--posed--
Sha truth and sha whole truth I 'clare I'vedisclosed--
I feel almosasleep--I've been trav'linallnight--
Had but one smallglass gin--and you know tha's not right.
I have had a shov give me--to come uptatown,
An' shey paid my fareup--and shey paid myfare down--
Who shey was--I donow--any more than an assh--
But I hadmyplacepaidfor an' comebyfirsclassh.
I'm a true tenpun householder--noways a snob--
Though I did sell myself for the shummofivebob--
They wanted myvote--which I toldem theysh'd have,
If they'd give sunthink for it--and tha's what they gave.
While I'm shtoppinintown, I has ten bobaday,
Witch that money's mylowance myspenses to pay,
For peachin' on myside byzh 'tother I'm paid,
And a preshusgood thingouto' boshsides I've made.
I don't feel no 'casion for 'idinmyface,
Don't consider sh' I'm kivver'd wizh shameandisgrace,
I don't unstand what you should 'sfranchise me for--
And 'tis my 'termination to have s'more bremwarr'!
* * * * *
RUSSIAN COOKERY.
The Russian Minister has long been connected by name and parentage with
one of the nicest puddings to be found in the receipts of SOYER, or in
the _carte_ of the _Trois Frères_. We must, however, protest against the
Russian Diplomatist's endeavouring to combine with the practice of
cookery the science of medicine, for though we always eat with pleasure
NESSELRODE pudding, we cannot undertake to swallow NESSELRODE'S recent
draught.
* * * * *
SENTIMENT FOR THE PEACE SOCIETY.
The thunder of war turns the milk of human-kindness sour. Moreover, it
may be said to spoil the beer of brotherly love.
* * * * *
ONE VIEW OF THE TURKISH QUESTION.
The SUBLIME PORTE and the EMPEROR OF RUSSIA, regarded in an æsthetical
point of view, present examples of the Sublime and the Ridiculous.
* * * * *
LITERATURE FOR THE CAMP.--There are not many books to read at the
Chobham encampment; but, besides going through all the Reviews, the Camp
will, doubtless, take in a great many numbers of this periodical.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Officer._ "WELL, BUT LOOK HERE, OLD FELLOW; WHY NOT STOP
ALL NIGHT?"]
* * * * *
A LIST OF INDEXES.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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