Hint the third is especially addressed to country families. Take one of the ordinary toilet-tables that are to be found in so many rural habitations, and, on removing the white cover, you will probably find that the table is formed of an empty flour-barrel with a board nailed on top of it. Remove this board; get a head from another barrel of the same size; place it properly upon the top; put some good hoops around the ends, nail it all up tightly, and you will find that you will have a very good barrel. * * * * * Founded upon Fact. Why is BRENTANO like a hardware man? Because he keeps _Tomahawks_ for sale. * * * * * Definition by an Envious Wood-Engraver. ZINCALI--Artists who draw on zinc plates. * * * * * [Illustration: AN AGGRAVATED CASE. _Man with Muffler_. "IT ISN'T THE FACT OF THE SORE THROAT I MIND SO MUCH AS THE SUSPICION THAT I CAUGHT IT FROM THAT BEASTLY SNOB, BURLAPS, WHO OCCUPIES THE ROOMS OPPOSITE."] * * * * * Truly Noble. We have been requested to publish the following letter: NEW-YORK, March 1, 1870. TO THE PATRIOTS HAVING CHARGE OF THE MONUMENT TO VICTOR NOIR: GENTLEMEN: I honor the brave! I am of America, American! I import from bleeding France her brandy, her champagne, her claret, her olives, and her sardines. I dispose of them at 1108 Lispenard street, New-York, where my peculiar facilities enable me to offer unusual inducements to the trade! I am with you and against tyrants! _Vive la freedom!_ I inclose seven francs as a contribution to the monument! D.E.D. BEHTE. * * * * * Perennius Ære. In view of the recent long and luminous discourse by a distinguished United States Senator upon the subject of the funding bill, it is respectfully suggested that a part of the amount to be saved to the nation by this financial scheme shall be devoted to the erection of a "palace lifting to eternal SUMNER!" * * * * * A Question for Ben Butler's Nurse. Was the honorable member from Massachusetts _really_ born with a silver spoon in his _mouth_? * * * * * The Witch and the Switch. Fashionable women are like the conventional school-mistress--they believe in the switch. * * * * * Naughty. When did the people send a cipher to the State Senate? When they sent NORT-on there. * * * * * THE MARINER'S WRONGS.