--just the thing for our mothers-in-law.--_Domestic-Hearth_. --its wisdom and learning are equally remarkable.--_College Club_. PUNCHINELLO deserves to be styled A Brick.--_Midnight Male_. --the most irreproachable thing going; and every man who does not buy a copy for himself, every week, and another for his wife, with one for each of his children, is a brute.--_Plain Speaker_. --bully.--_Western Grazier_. --knows beans.--_Horticulturist_. --up to snuff.--_Market Reporter_. --cock of the walk.--_Prairie Chicken_. --perfectly lovely.--_Ladies' Voice_. --read it, try to parse it, and then set it to music and sing it.--_Yankee Teacher_. --the thing we dreamed of, longed for, sighed for, and paid for.--_Public at Large_. * * * * * A Walking Fish. The Walk in life of Mr. Secretary of State FISH, considering him as a private individual, has hitherto been irreproachable. Nevertheless, his walk might be much improved by President GRANT, if the latter would only teach him to Walk Spanish. * * * * * "Hole-in-the-Day." It is stated, though on what authority we are unable to say, that the Philadelphia _Day_ is printed on straw paper made from the surplus straw-hats that formed an item of a notorious government contract negotiated during the war. * * * * * [Illustration: MESMERISM IN WALL STREET. _First Lady Broker, (entrancing subject.)_ "THERE, I'VE GOT HIM TO THE POINT NOW. TAKE HIM AT HIS WORD, QUICK." _Commodore V-nd-rb-lt, (murmurs.)_ "SELL ME ONE THOUSAND SHARES CENTRAL." _Second Lady Broker._ "BOOKED!"] * * * * * THE BALLAD OF CAPTAIN EYRE, OF THE PACIFIC AND ORIENTAL STEAMSHIP "BOMBAY." My name was ARTHUR EYRE, when I sailed, When I sailed; My name was ARTHUR EYRE, when I sailed; My name was ARTHUR EYRE, a true British snob, I swear, Who for Yankees didn't care, as I sailed. I'd been taught at 'ome, per'aps, ere I sailed, Ere I sailed; I'd been taught at 'ome, per'aps, ere I sailed; I'd been taught at 'ome, per'aps, that JOHN BULL his fingers snaps At the "cussed Yankee chaps," ere I sailed. So I steered across the seas, as I sailed, As I sailed; I steered across the seas, as I sailed; I steered across the seas, and swilled my hale at hease; I was master, "if you please," as I sailed. VICTORIA'S flag I flew, as I sailed, As I sailed; VICTORIA'S flag I flew, as I sailed; VICTORIA'S flag I flew, and wore her colors too, Like a British sailor true, as I sailed. Off the shore of far Japan, as I sailed, As I sailed; Off the shore of far Japan, as I sailed; Off the shore of far Japan, I a Yankee ship did scan, That with helm a-starboard ran, as I sailed.