Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 01, April 2, 1870 — John Shaqi
Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 01, April 2, 1870Various
General
Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 01, April 2, 1870
Various
American wit and humor -- Periodicals
Mr. BUTLER denounced the course of Mr. VOORHEES. For his part, he saw no
impropriety in selling cadetships or any thing else. What do gentlemen
suppose that cadetships exist for, if it is not for the emolument of
congressmen? He considered his patronage as a part of his perquisites.
This had been the guiding principle of his life, alike in his military
and his political career. He considered the action of Mr. VOORHEES to be
an act of deliberate treachery to this House. If he accepted a pitiful
drink in return for his official influence, he was guilty of a gross
offense in cheapening the price of patronage. A cadetship was worth $500
if it was worth a cent. If, on the other hand, he gave his cadetship
away, his conduct was even more culpable; for other congressmen might be
weak enough to follow his baleful example, and the market would be
broken down. He advocated the formation of a Congressional Labor Union
to determine the value of these appointments, and to expel all members
who took less than the standard rate. This was what was done in other
branches of business, and if his colleagues wished to be like him, the
little busy B.F.B., and improve each shining hour, this is what they
would do.
And then the House adjourned.
* * * * *
READY-MADE EPITAPHS.
On a Departed Clown.
Though lost to sight, to mummery dear.
On a Faithful Book-keeper.
Posted up.
* * * * *
Wring the Belles.
American belles ought to make good housewives, because they put up with
little or no waist.
* * * * *
To whom it may Concern.
Persons who take music by the wholesale are informed that they can
procure it of the street organ-grinders, who dispose of it by the
Barrel.
* * * * *
Voice in the Air.
"What is honor? Air."--Sir JOHN FALSTAFF.
"What is dishonor? EYRE."--Every body.
* * * * *
The "Cumming" Man.
The "sensation" editor of the _Sun_.
* * * * *
[Illustration: "BLAG YER BOOTS, MISTER!"]
* * * * *
A Huge Sell.
The appointing to cadetships at West-Point.
* * * * *
The Most Religious Editor in New-York.
C.A. DANA--because every week-day is observed as a _"Sun"_ day by him.
* * * * *
A Good General Idea.
A neat practical joke was that perpetrated by one of our contributors,
who, having been requested to bring us "something pat," walked into our
office a day or two after with a couple of Fenian generals in tow.
* * * * *
A Happy Thought.
The Elevated Railway is worked by means of what is known to engineers as
an "endless rope." Might it not be well to work the murderers and
robbers of New-York on the same principle?
* * * * *
Abnormal.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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