Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 03, April 16, 1870Various
General
Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 03, April 16, 1870
Various
American wit and humor -- Periodicals
He has also noticed that the Philadelphians are having a lively and
brotherly dispute over their new public buildings; they don't know where
to put them. Most of the citizens are very much opposed to doing any
thing on the square; that is to say, Independence Square, where the
citizens assert their freedom by treading down all the grass, and making
a mud-flat of what was intended to be a turfy lawn. Some folks want the
buildings on PENN Square--so called because it is split in the middle,
and answers its intended purposes only on paper. But the good Quakers
hate to interfere with the rights of the blacks, whether they be men or
women, and so many of the latter make this square their abiding place
every summer, that it would seem like a violation of the spirit of the
Fifteenth Amendment to disturb them. But there is no doubt that the good
Philadelphians will have their new buildings some day, for they are
very enterprising. Witness the disposition of one of their leading men,
"Slushy" SMITH by name, who wants fifty thousand dollars with which to
open an avenue from the Delaware to Sixth street, basing his claims
upon the fact that such avenue will lead to Fairmount Park! Now, as the
nearest point of the park is two miles and a half from Sixth street, the
vigor of the scheme and the foreseeing character of the projectors are
worthy of a metropolis.
PUNCHINELLO is furthermore delighted to see that a son of PENN has
decided the great question of the Pope's infallibility, which so vexes
our OEcumenical fellow-creatures. POPE has been beheaded at Harrisburg,
and of course there is no further need to discuss his infallibility.
When a man loses his head, he is fallible. To be sure, the case was only
one of a picture of GRANT and his Generals, which hung in the State
Library, and in which POPE'S head was painted out, and Governor GEARY'S
substituted; but the act shows, on the part of the adherents of the
leaden-legged governor, a head-strong determination to proceed to
extremities which has given rise to the gravest apprehensions; but
PUNCHINELLO hopes for the best. It is expected that the Legislature will
soon compel the inhabitants of the City of Fraternites to send their
children to school, whether they like it or not. This is certainly
progression, and PUNCHINELLO now looks confidently forward to a law
compelling all Philadelphians to wash their pavements twice a day; to
have white marble front-steps (without railings) to all their houses; to
build said houses entirely of red brick, with green shutters; to make
their sidewalks of similar bricks, laid unevenly, to agitate passers-by
and so prevent dyspepsia, and that each house shall have at least one
little gutter running over its pavement.
* * * * *
"Lost at Sea."
BOUCICAULT when he wrote the play.
* * * * *
LETTER FROM A FRIEND.
FRIEND PUNCHINELLO:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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