A reform with regard to umbrellas has lately been attempted. A very expressive and ingenious stand has been patented, in which if an umbrella be once impaled there is no chance of its abduction except by the hands of its rightful owner. A friend of ours, who owned such a one, placed all his umbrellas in its charge, and went his way joyfully with the keys in his pocket. During his absence, a facetious burglar called and removed umbrellas, stand, and all. Our friend concludes that it is cheaper to lend umbrellas by retail. Despite the apparent severity of these remarks, there may be much romance connected with the umbrella. Many a young man immersed in love has blessed the umbrella that it has been his privilege to carry over the head of a certain young lady caught in a shower. In such a case the umbrella may be the means of cementing hearts. Two young hearts bound together by an umbrella--think of it, ye dealers in poetical rhapsodies, and grieve that the discovery was not yours! How many agreeable chats have taken place beneath the umbrella! how many a _confessio amantis_ has ascended with sweet savor into the dome of the umbrella and consecrated it for ever! The romance alluded to may be spoiled if there be great disparity in height. If the lady be very tall and you be very short, (so that you can't afford to ride in an omnibus,) you will be apt to spoil a new hat; and if, on the other hand, the lady be very short and you be very tall, you will probably ruin a spring bonnet and break off the match. Again, if you should happen to carry an umbrella of the vast blue style--to your own disgust and the amusement of the multitude--and, under such circumstances, you meet a particular lady friend, your best course will be to pass rapidly by, screening yourself from observation as much as possible. It would also be awkward should the day be windy, and, as you advance with a winning smile to offer an asylum to the _stricken dear,_ the umbrella should blow inside out. The poet has raised the umbrella still higher by making it the symbol of the marriage tie. He says, "Just as to a big umbrella Is the handle when 'tis raining. So unto a man is woman. Though, the handle bears the burden, 'Tis the top keeps all the rain off; Though the top gets all the wetting, 'Tis the handle still supports it. So the top is good for nothing If there isn't any handle; And the case holds _vice versa_." All will appreciate the delicate pathos of the simile. Speaking of similes reminds us that there is one on Broadway. An enterprising merchant has for his sign an American eagle carrying an umbrella.