Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 04, April 23, 1870Various
General
Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 04, April 23, 1870
Various
American wit and humor -- Periodicals
Outlaw, hedged in and restrained by laws and customs, it may be, but
innately antagonistic to society.
The Philosophers who have traced humanity through all stages of its
development, from the Aphis creeping on the rose-leaf to the full-grown
specimen in the person of a Member of Congress, have wisely and
invariably omitted all notice of boyhood in their lists of gradations
and transitions. Any thing like a fair examination of this particular
development scatters their doctrines to the four winds. Because the
salient traits to the next higher development, could not part with their
own identity, or send these distinguishing characteristics, in one fell
swoop, through many stages, only to reappear at last in the upper type,
and only between infancy and manhood, and only in one sex. This argument
is overwhelming, and the present purpose is to elucidate it by more
particular examination.
It is proper, in the first place, to gather a blossom from the negative
side of the discussion. Boys are not girls. While dogs, and foxes,
pigeons and ducks, have each a generic term applicable to both sexes,
there is a tacit understanding in civilized localities that boys compose
a distinct genus. They are, in the eye of the law, considered human,
probably because they eventually pass from boyhood to humanity, There is
an old nursery rhyme which marks the distinguishing characteristics of
juvenile members of society with remarkable accuracy:
"What are little girls made of, made of?
What are little girls made of?
Sugar and spice,
And every thing nice,
Such are little girls made of.
What are little boys made of, made of?
What are little boys made of?
Snaps and snails
And puppy-dog tails,
Such are little boys made of!"
There is so apparent an air of probability about this terse statement of
the case, that it has satisfied the insatiable curiosity of infantile
minds for long ages. Little girls never doubt it, and little boys never
contradict it. If Paterfamilias has any thoughts upon the subject, he
probably thinks this expenditure of snaps and snails was a great waste
of raw material. Girls may be romps and hoydens, vixens and scolds, but
the sugar and spice will always be detected, and, with all drawbacks
allowed, the little girl is still entitled to Mr. MANTALINI'S cognomen
of "demnition sweetness." At least, this is the universal verdict of
society. From the time when she dons her first _chignon,_ (which _never_
matches the native hair, by the by,) she is nearly angelic, with some
few exceptions, perhaps, _after_ marriage.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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