Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 04, April 23, 1870Various
General
Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 04, April 23, 1870
Various
American wit and humor -- Periodicals
Another link is discovered in the person of the useful and ornamental
domestic animal who is popularly supposed to furnish the material for
sausages. The accidental discovery of a suspender-button, or the claw of
a kitten, in the sausage, gave rise to some doubt as to the composition
of this favorite edible; but statisticians usually admit that hogmeat
forms the staple. Doctor KANE speaks in glowing terms of the excellence
of rats when mixed with due proportions of walrus blubber, and cut out
in frozen chunks, probably with a cold-chisel. Why this fierce rodent
should make more savory meat than the innocent kitten, does not appear.
The latter is certainly much nicer to play with, in the ante-mortem
state. But this is a digression. Returning, therefore, not to the
mutton, but to the pork, consider the distinctive habits of both pig and
Boy at meal-time, and see how nearly identical they are. Watch the
innocent in bristles as he places his graceful right paw upon the ear of
corn, while he shells and masticates. Turn to the innocent in
broadcloth, and notice how he clutches the succulent turkey-leg, and how
rapidly he polishes the femoral bone. Throw a second ear of the cereal
in the trough, and observe how promptly the left paw secures it, lest it
should be transformed into lard through the agency of a companion pig.
Place the other turkey-leg, both wings, three slices of breast, the
side-bone and plenty of "stuffin'" within reach of the other embryo, and
notice the glare of his famished eye, if some other plate than his is
presented. You would fancy he had been exploring the route of another
ship-canal across the Isthmus of Darien, and had tasted no food for
twenty-two days.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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