"It has occurred to me that, in this _dreadful_ situation--my Passion being sufficiently Hopeless, as any one may see--you might at least afford me some slight _alleviation_, by undertaking to let Him know of the _interest_ he excites in this far-off star! Let me describe my charmer, so that you will be able to identify him. He is of fair size, with a rolling gait and a smiling countenance, has light hair and complexion, wears often a White Hat, (on the back of his head--where Thoughtful men always place the hat, I've been told by observers,) and now and then carelessly leaves one leg of his trowsers at the top of his boot. I have often seen him, with a bundle of papers in his pocket, entering a large building with the words "_Tribune_ Office" over the door--and I _adore_ him! O excellent Editor! tell him this, I _implore_ you! Be kind to your distant and _love-lorn_ friend, HELENE." F. What did you say, Helene? D. I was saying that I wished to look a little longer at the fashions in Broadway. F. Well, well--I believe the Fashions are all that these women think of! There--look away! I presume they have changed considerably since you looked before! When do you wish to begin your lessons in Astronomy? D. Next week. Father; let me see: we will say, next week--Thursday. F. Very well; I shall remind you. D. (_who is determined to have the last word, any way_.) Very well. * * * * * Beach's Soliloquy on entering his Pneumatic Chamber. "TU-BE or not tu-be." * * * * * Reflection by a Tallow-chandler. Though a man be the Mould of fashion, yet he cannot light himself to bed by the Dip in his back. * * * * * PLAYS AND SHOWS. [Illustration: 'M'] _MEN AND ACRES,_ the new comedy at WALLACK'S, is one of the best of TAYLOR'S pieces, and a decided improvement upon the carpenter work of BOUCICAULT. It has been rechristened by Mr. WALLACK, and its former name--_Old Men and New Acres, or New Aches and Old Manors,_ or something else of that sort--has been conveniently shortened. If it does not convince us that the author has improved since he first began to write plays, it certainly reminds us that there is such a thing as _Progress_. In the latter play, Mr. J.W. WALLACK was a civil engineer. In the present drama, he is an uncivil tradesman. Both appeal to the levelling tendencies of the age; and in each, the author has done his "level best"--as Mr. GRANT WHITE would say--to flatter the Family Circle at the expense of the Boxes. The cast includes a Vague Baronet and his Managing Wife, their Slangy Daughter, their Unpleasant Neighbor and his wife and daughter, an Unintelligible Dutchman, an Innocuous Youth, a Disagreeable Lawyer, and the Merchant Prince. This is the sort of way in which they conduct themselves, _Act_ 1. _Disagreeable Lawyer to Vague Baronet:_ "You are ruined, and your estate is mortgaged to a Merchant Prince. What do you intend to do?"