Why do you madly thirst For grog that's chopped up with a hatchet? say! And tell us of the first Strange thought which spurred you to go up that way! Was it the hope that on some icy coast (Frozen, yourself, almost!) You'd have the luck to meet poor FRANKLIN'S ghost? And has it seemed, sometimes, That drowning might be pleasanter up there Among the icebergs, native to those climes, Than where The surf breaks gently on some coral-reef, And sirens sweetly soothe one's slow despair? Say, was that your belief? And who is BENT?[*] Why was _he_ sent, With his Warm Currents wheeling round the Pole? A long, long race must his disciples run: No sun, No fun, No chance to toss a word to any one; And what a goal? As hopefully you munch The flinty biscuit, watching whale or seal, Or listening, undaunted, to the crunch Of ice-floes at the keel, Say, Sir Intrepid! shall you really think You pioneer the navies of the world? Not while the chink Of well-housed dollars sounds so pleasantly, And safer tracks map out the treacherous sea! If that's your dream, oh! let your sails be furled. But, no! It is not this! Your spirit, high and bold, Scorning all tamer joys, will have it so! No cold Can chill its ardor! Such a soul would sate Its deathless craving in some lofty flight, Some deed sublime, and read its shining fate By the Aurora's light! For fruitful fellowship, it seeks the wild, The frozen waste, Where the world's venturous heroes--reconciled To sunless, shuddering gloom-- To joyless solitude--with ardor taste Their dread delights! and so at last find room, 'Mid nodding icebergs, for their watery tomb! For this, we spare you, O dauntless HALL! Once having breathed that air So pure, so fresh, so rare! And caught the wildness of the Esquimaux, We declare you Unfit to live where beans and lettuce grow! Leave delving to the little pitiful mole, Great soul! And now, then, for the Pole! [Footnote *: Captain BENT, of Cincinnati, originator of the new theory of Polar Currents.] * * * * * [Illustration: FINANCIAL RELIEF MR. BUMBLE BOUTWELL TO MRS. CORNEY FISH. _(See Oliver Twist.)_ "THE GREAT PRINCIPLE OF FINANCIAL RELIEF IS TO GIVE THE BUSINESS MEN EXACTLY WHAT THEY DON'T WANT: THEN THEY GET TIRED OF COMING."] * * * * * CONDENSED CONGRESS. SENATE.