Asking, in a whisper, of Mr. PUNCH how the latter very staid individual came to be there, I understood that, of all the absurd men of this century, he was selected as the most representatively preposterous. The PRINCE OF WALES was not asked, lest his morals might be hurt by something that was said. And it is so important, you know, for the British nation—(for the rest, see the _Saturday Review_.) And then Madame GEORGE SAND was to be there, who sometimes wears trowsers. MATTHEW ARNOLD was spoken to about it; but he replied gruffly, "PUNCHINELLO is Goliath of the Philistines!" and declined. JOHN STUART MILL was too busy over his next book, which is to be "On the Subjection of Horses." But every body else was there, so we did not miss these grave and reverend seigniors. How the twenty-five courses came on and went off, from the ox-tail soup and salmon to the dessert, it would need the tongue or pen of SOYER or PIERRE BLOT to narrate; as it needed the capacity of a FALSTAFF to do justice to them. And then, when the cover was removed, came the time of trial to your correspondent. "The Queen" and "the President" were drunk with all the honors. Then Mr. PUNCH called out, through his magnificent old nose, so that you might have heard him across the Channel, "Health and long life to PUNCHINELLO!" Now, your correspondent had remembered Mr. HAWTHORNE'S experience at a Lord Mayor's dinner, and had begged Mr. PUNCH by all means to let him off without a speech. But, more worldly-wise than HAWTHORNE, he didn't believe that Mr. PUNCH would keep his promise; so he had prepared a speech, beginning, "Not anticipating any occasion to open my lips in this illustrious company, you must allow me to speak altogether on the impulse of the moment." (Hear, hear.) So this had to be delivered; but for the rest of it, and of the dinner, you must wait for my next telegram. Mr. PUNCH is going to have the speech published in pamphlet form, for distribution among his numerous constituents. So, now for the rest of my _news_. FRANCE. The PRINCE OF MONACO has declared war against France. OLLIVIER proposes to send the PRINCE IMPERIAL to extinguish him with a corps of infantry, armed with popguns; no one to be admitted to the corps who is more than four years old. MONACO aspires to be a sort of LOPEZ. TURKEY. Sultan ABDUL AZIZ has just had a visit from a friend of JOHN BRIGHT'S. To the surprise of every body, even his most intimate friends, the Sultan immediately made up his mind to turn Quaker! He came down stairs, and went into mosque, the other day, with a broad-brimmed hat, straight coat, and drab trowsers; and insisted on all the ladies of his _hareem_ putting on plain bonnets, and holding a "silent meeting" in the Seraglio! How it bothered them to do that last thing you may well suppose! More anon, from PRIME. A Bit of Fish. SECRETARY FISH is said to preserve a decidedly spruce appearance at the State Dinners. Fish is nothing if not Fin-ical. FISH SAUCE.