In a speech which sounds like a six-shooter, that deadly woman, Mrs. F.H.M. BROWN, of San Francisco, gives notice that "when she goes to cast her ballot, if any man insults her, she will shoot him!" Who will now dare to question woman's ability to exercise both the franchise and the franchised? PUNCHINELLO sadly foresees that Shooters for the hands of women will take the place of Suitors. Nevertheless, he guarantees that the Constitutional right of women to bear arms shall not be infringed, and that they shall enjoy the inestimable privilege to shoot and be shot at. Every woman shall be at perfect liberty to cast her bullet for the man of her choice! * * * * * ~How to Make Ends Meet.~ Miss BRITTAIN delivers a lecture on the High-caste women of India. She should supplement it with one on the High-strung women of Indiana, and thus illustrate the extremes of marriage and divorce. * * * * * ~From the Vermont Border.~ _Voice._ "Has anything been gained by General O'NEIL?" _Echo._ O Nihil! * * * * * [Illustration: A CABINET ORNAMENT. THE FISH REPRESENTED IS ONE OF THE UPPER CRUST-ACEA] * * * * * ~The Dominion of King Whiskey.~ The London _Illustrated News_ calls the new Province of the Dominion, Manetoda, instead of Manitobah. Perhaps the mistake originated from the rumor of the Many Tods by which certain members of the Canadian Cabinet are said to be habitually inspired. * * * * * ~A Blue-grass Reflection.~ Hard, indeed, is the life of the poor trapper of the Plains. Driven by stress of hunger, he is often obliged to eat rattle-snake; but, as he cannot eat the head of the reptile, though the tail is good at a pinch, he fails, you perceive, to make both ends ~Meat.~ * * * * * ~A Bright Idea.~ The Hon. JOHN BRIGHT is said to while away the time, in his retirement, by knitting garters. It seems very strange that such a usurpation of Woman's Rights should be carried into effect by one of the stoutest advocates of them. * * * * * ~The Green above the Red, at last.~ One of the narrators of the late Fenian fizzle on the Canadian border describes General O'NEIL as having invaded the Dominion, "mounted on a small Red horse." * * * * * ~OUR PORTFOLIO.~