Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 11, June 11, 1870Various
General
Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 11, June 11, 1870
Various
American wit and humor -- Periodicals
"Her voice is good in quality, but then
There's not sufficient of it for a queen
Of the lyric stage. Yet such she claims to be,
But is not. Now dismiss me." (_Descends_.)
_MacStrakosch_.
"Yea; and I will unless thy master's ear
Be deaf to the demand of good society.
Let me hear more!"
_Thunder. Third apparition of a critic rises.
Apparition_.
"Her lower notes are bad, her upper notes
Forced, reedy, and most sadly often flat;
'Tis folly to compare her with the great
Full-voiced and plenteous Parepa. Now
Dismiss me if thou wilt."
_MacStrakosch_.
"Sacrilegious wretch! I have thy name
Upon my tablets. Thy official head
Comes off at once. Call up, ye midnight hags,
Another of these villains."
_Thunder. Fourth apparition of a critic rises.
Apparition_.
"Her acting, like her voice, is cold and hard;
Not thus did GRISI, GAZZANIGA or
CORTESI act when their warm Southern blood
Throbbed in the passionate pulse of VIOLETTA,
NORMA, or the Spanish LEONORE.
Dismiss me, quick."
_MacStralosch_.
"Thon diest ere to-morrow's sun shall set,
Or never more advertisement of mine
Shall grace the columns of thy journal. Next."
_Thunder. Fifth apparition of a critic rises.
Apparition_.
"She in the same in everything she sings;
Her 'Gilda,' her 'Amina,' or her 'Marguerite,'
Her 'Leonora,' or her 'Daughter of
The Regiment,' are one and all the same
Fair lady decked in different stage costumes.
Better dismiss me, now. I've told the truth,
And may continue that unseemly practice."
_MacStrakosch_.
"This is past bearing. Are there any more
Of these rude fellows waiting to be summoned?"
_Thunder. Eight apparitions of critics rise and pass over the stage,
reciting the following chorus:
Apparitions_.
"She has a pretty little voice, and uses it
In pretty little ways. If she would sing
In pretty little theatres she'd make a hit
In pretty little parts. That's everything
That can be said for her. Cease then to claim
That "KELLOGG" should be writ next GRISI'S name."
_The apparitions vanish. An alarm of drums is heard, and_ MATADOR
_awakes to find that he is still enduring Poliuto, and that a sporadic
drum in the orchestra, which has broken loose from the weak restraints
of the conductor's discipline, is making Verdi unnecessarily hideous._
And as he passed once more and finally through the lobby, he heard a
critic remark, "She is the same in everything she sings;" and another
reply, "Yes, she has a pretty little voice, and uses it nicely, but she
is by no means a great singer." Struck by the similarity of these
remarks to those made by the apparitions in his vision, he began to
doubt whether his dream did not, after all, contain a large alloy of
truth, and the more he thought on the subject the more he was led to
believe that for once he had really heard the critics of the New York
press indulging in an unrestrained expression of honest opinion.
MATADOR
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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