Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 11, June 11, 1870 — John Shaqi
Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 11, June 11, 1870Various
General
Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 11, June 11, 1870
Various
American wit and humor -- Periodicals
Similarly, service in the church being over, and divers persons of
piggish solemnity of aspect dispersing, two of the latter detach
themselves from the rest and try an easy lounge around toward a side
door of the building, as though willing to be taken by the outer world
for a couple of unimpeachable low-church gentlemen who merely happened
to be in that neighborhood at that hour for an airing.
The day and year are waning, and the setting sun casts a ruddy but not
warming light upon two figures under the arch of the side door; while
one of these figures locks the door, the other, who seems to have a
music book under his arm, comes out, with a strange, screwy motion, as
though through an opening much too narrow for him, and, having poised a
moment to nervously pull some imaginary object from his right boot and
hurl it madly from him, goes unexpectedly off with the precipitancy and
equilibriously concentric manner of a gentleman in his first private
essay on a tight-rope.
"Was that Mr. BUMSTEAD, SMYTHE?"
"It wasn't anybody else, your Reverence."
"Say 'his identity with the person mentioned scarcely comes within the
legitimate domain of doubt,' SMYTHE--to Father Dean, the younger of the
piggish persons softly interposes,
"Is Mr. BUMSTEAD unwell, SMYTHE?"
"He's got 'em bad to-night."
"Say 'incipient cerebral effusion marks him especially for its prey at
this vesper hour.' SMYTHE--to Father DEAN," again softly interposes Mr.
SIMPSON, the Gospeler.
"Mr. SIMPSON," pursues Father DEAN, whose name has been modified, by
various theological stages, from its original form of Paudean, to Pere
DEAN--Father DEAN, "I regret to hear that Mr. BUMSTEAD is so delicate in
health; you may stop at his boarding-house on your way home, and ask him
how he is, with my compliments." _Pax vobiscum_.
Shining so with a sense of his own benignity that the retiring sun gives
up all rivalry at once and instantly sets in despair, Father DEAN
departs to his dinner, and Mr. SIMPSON, the Gospeler, betakes himself
cheerily to the second-floor-back where Mr. BUMSTEAD lives. Mr. BUMSTEAD
is a shady-looking man of about six and twenty, with black hair and
whiskers of the window-brush school, and a face reminding you of the
BOURBONS. As, although lighting his lamp, he has, abstractedly, almost
covered it with his hat, his room is but imperfectly illuminated, and
you can just detect the accordeon on the window-sill, and, above the
mantel, an unfinished sketch of a school-girl. (There is no artistic
merit in this picture; in which, indeed, a simple triangle on end
represents the waist, another and slightly larger triangle the skirts,
and straight-lines with rake-like terminations the arms and hands.)
"Called to ask how you are, and offer Father DEAN'S compliments," says
the Gospeler.
"I'm allright, shir!" says Mr. BUMSTEAD, rising from the rug where he
has been temporarily reposing, and dropping his umbrella. He speaks
almost with ferocity.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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