MARIAR bought a ticket in a church lottery, and drew a new fast collers caliker. Would you have her make it up with a pancake attached to back of it, or would you put a pendelum on it? She thought of having it scolloped, but in hot weather scollops are apt to spile unless cookt, and I think a _roosh_ of oyster shells would be rather more _distangue_. My wife makes all her own dresses; but I suppose, as you get good wages, like as not your woman has some one to do the fittin', while she runs up the seams on a sewin' machine. Take good care of yourself. Don't drink ice water this hot weather without temperin' it with brandy. When "this cruel war is over" come and see us, and believe me, my dear Imperial rooler--duke of the Empire--and master of the royal Household of Frog Eaters, Ewers: HIRAM GREEN, ESQ., _Lait Gustise of the Peece._ * * * * * [Illustration: THE LAST CASE OF "SHOO! FLY."] * * * * * [Illustration: PLIGHT BY THE SEA. _Charles_. "O THAT LAST DIP! SPEAK, NOW, MY DEAREST JANE, AND SAY THOU WILT BE MINE FOREVER." _Jane_. "I AM THINE, DEAREST! EVER, EVER THINE!--BUT SAY, WILT THOU NOT GIVE ME ANOTHER DIP?" _Charles, (vulgar wretch!)_ "YOU BET!"] * * * * * RAMBLINGS. BY MOSE SKINNER. MR. PUNCHINELLO: I infer that you never visited Slunkville, Vermont. Still, it is not strange, for many very estimable people have not done so, and still they are happy. It is a very quiet hamlet. More quiet, if possible, than BOOTH'S HAMLET. I am sojourning here for the summer. Communing with Nature, I believe they call it. I can commune here for five dollars a week and no extra charge for retiring pensively to a babbling brook, and reading MILTON or BYRON, though when my poetic soul hankers most, I prefer Bacon. I take it fried, about an inch thick, with plenty of ham fat. I went to hear Parson SLOWBOY last Sunday, on the Coolie question. He handled it without gloves, and, it being very warm, without stockings also. It's a very exciting question just now, almost as exciting as the question, "What'll you take?" and I must say, that, even in the heat of argument, he talked Cool-ie. The Parson is very zealous, but rather illiterate. During a fervent exhortation he prayed that, "all the undiscovered and uninhabited isles of the sea might become converted," and on another occasion he began with,--"Oh, Lord, thou art a merciful sinner." But he means well, and that is everything. A man knocked me down once, and stamped on my head several times. But he meant well because he thought I was another fellow. He apologised so politely that I actually felt cheap because he hadn't done it a little more. But I'm afraid we shall lose Parson SLOWBOY. He's had a call. He hates to go, but he says it's his duty; the call is so loud. It is two hundred dollars louder than his present salary.