The unfortunate official who sought reliable information, the other day, respecting the age and immense property possessions of PUNCHINELLO, on comparing his notes subsequently, remarked to a friend that he felt as if he had temporarily lost his Census. * * * * * Appropriate. DANA, of the _Sun_, is about to open an undertaker's establishment for the arrangement of murderer's obsequies. Motto--"Pinking done here." * * * * * The Wrong Mouth. A LITTLE Fourth-of-Julyer in Pittsburgh, going along with his mouth open, (after the manner of boys), caught a fire-cracker therein, just as the cracker was going off. He had often had crackers in his mouth, but preceding ones had proved nourishing and non-explosive; whereas, this cracker was quite the reverse. As a consequence, the boy has lost his voice, but (what is curious, certainly,) is otherwise all sound. Were we certain that heaving a fire-cracker into an open mouth would always produce such a result, we should certainly hire some one to shut up the noisier of our public nuisances--such as G.F. TRAIN, and several members of Congress. This could be easily done, as their mouths are always open, and usually are very large ones. We invite proposals from boys, relating to next season's operations. * * * * * Theft Extraordinary. A weekly journal gravely informs a correspondent that "the line, 'A thing of beauty is a joy forever,' occurs in TUPPER's _Proverbial Philosophy_." Shades of the poets! More than fifty years ago, JOHN KEATS commenced a poem called "Endymion," with that very line. To think that he should have gone and borrowed it from TUPPER! * * * * * Politician's Plant. See WEED. * * * * * [Illustration: THE LATEST MELODRAMATIC DODGE OF A PLAYED-OUT POLITICIAN. PROMPTER DANA, OF THE "SUN," GIVES THE CUE TO A _REAL_ SKELETON.] * * * * * Conversion of the "Sun." It was said of Bishop COLENSO that he "undertook to convert a Zulu Kaffir, but the Z. K. converted him." Such a circumstance may be fallen upon without going so far as Africa to seek for it. JOHN ALLEN, of Water Street, was, once upon a time, the Zulu Kaffir of DANA of the _Sun_ and his fascinating Satellite, OLIVER DYER. The ways of JOHN ALLEN were very wicked when these pious missionaries threw themselves upon his trail, and tried to convert him. Perhaps the reformatory effort was well meant; but, alas! for the feebleness of all human arrangements--JOHN ALLEN remains the reprobate he was, while he to his flock has brought DANA, the _Sun_ man, and DYER, the Satellite man, converts to the Allenian theory that money made from dirt is the only healthful stimulant to virtuous toil. And so it was that DANA the devout, and DYER the saintly, went forth to convert the Zulu Kaffir of Water Street, and the Z. F. converted them.