Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 22, August 27, 1870Various
General
Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 22, August 27, 1870
Various
American wit and humor -- Periodicals
Citizen approaches the scene of interest, and sees crowds of spectators
upon each side; he glances at the workmen, and, after taking stock of
both them and the overseer, proceeds to read the opinion of his fellows
in their faces, after which he settles down in right earnest with his
hands in his pockets for a prolonged stare. This latter may continue for
periods varying from ten minutes to an hour and three quarters,
according to inclination or opportunity.
If the spectator is a man of business, it is just possible that he may
content himself with measuring the size of the blocks with his eye, and
then pass on, content to know that he, as one out of many taxpayers, is
getting the value of what they are called on to pay for. But with the
mass of the onlookers, the pouring of the hot pitch into the gravelled
interstices is watched with a satisfaction ever new, like that bestowed
in the pantomime upon the application by the clown of the red-hot poker.
There is also the pleasure of seeing others at hard work, and the
indulgence of everybody's belief (which is common to all present,) that
he or she could suggest an improvement upon the work proceeding, and the
manner of doing it. Then they look at each other once more and depart
contented.
Upon a moderate calculation, the amount of time devoted by human beings
to this amusing study, in the City of New York, amounts to 2,450,000
hours per annum.
* * * * *
ENGLAND'S QUANDARY.
Conjecture and expectancy, O PUNCHINELLO! have been the order of the day
in this European turmoil, with regard to the position of what are called
neutral Powers. People have been looking at England with much curiosity
to see what she really does intend. With the facilities which our
_special wire_ affords, I am enabled to report a highly interesting
soliloquy delivered by the Rt. Hon. W. E. GLADSTONE, to his bed-post, at
his home in Spring Gardens, London, after a hot night's debate at St.
STEPHEN'S. Our reporter concealed himself in the key-hole and took
_verbatim_ notes. As in the case of the speeches delivered by the rival
monarchs to their armies, which you published a week in advance of the
speeches themselves, the following can be relied on:
"I'm tired of answering questions. Let me think awhile. Is war the only
alternative? They blame me for not talking out. Fools, they don't know
where they stand. At home and abroad, difficulty. Our workmen
emigrating; the Irish irreconcilable, (curse that word!) nothing
cheerful that side.
"France can rock _her_ irreconcilables to sleep to the war lullaby of
that man we have so trusted only to betray us; _our_ irreconcilables
only wait for war to side with our enemy. Prussia, grasping bull-dog as
she is, makes capital out of it, and calls us to her side, while our
stupid people burn with a Prussian fever, which may turn to a plague
to-morrow.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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