Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 24, September 10, 1870Various
General
Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 24, September 10, 1870
Various
American wit and humor -- Periodicals
Those who are fond of flees may flee to the mountains. I know when I've
got enough, and I prefer to surf it on the sea shore. Take the 3-1/2
A.M. train, and come to
SANDY POINT.
Everything here is sand as far as the eye can reach, or a horse and
wagon, with a profane driver, can travel. The ocean laves the beach. The
sea also is here. The tide comes in twice a day. This alone gives Sandy
Point a great advantage over all other points on the coast.
I rode up in the regular conveyance, and soon after my arrival found
myself standing on the spacious and elegant piazza of
THE CHARNEL HOUSE,
a palatial structure erected by the late Mr. CHARNEL, who is said to
have lavished an immense fortune upon it. Strictly speaking, he didn't
lavish quite so much paint on the front as an advanced civilization had
a right to expect; but within, everything, (including the clerk,)
appears to have been furnished with an eye to
LUXURIOUS COMFORT,
Mr. SOAPINGTON, the genial landlord, Mr. RICHARD SOAPINGTON, Jr., the
gentlemanly clerk, Mrs. SOAPINGTON, the accomplished hostess, and the
lovely Miss CLARA SOAPINGTON, all greeted me with that hearty welcome,
so dear to the traveller. SOAPINGTON said he was glad to see me, and,
seeing that it was me, he would be willing to infringe on his inflexible
rule, and would allow me to pay
CASH IN ADVANCE.
Madame S. was sorry she couldn't set me up a cot in the wash-room, but
would be compelled to let me have a double front-room over the bar. I
told her if the apartment had a practicable trap door I thought I could
get along.
RICHARD S., Jr., was sure he had met me before; and, as a friend, he
would say the establishment was not responsible for valuables unless
deposited in the safe. He would take my watch and jewelry to wear while
I was there, inasmuch as
HE WAS THE SAFE HIMSELF.
The charming Miss S. didn't say anything, but she smiled, and looked
such unutterable things from behind the blinds, that I expect to find it
all in the bill.
Everybody that can get a railroad pass should come to Sandy Point
WHAT TO DO.
Sit in the reading-room and look over the torn files of two daily papers
a week and a half old; or study a hotel advertiser.
THE SURF BATHING
is magnificent. The prevalence of an unmitigated undertow renders it
quite exhilarating for old ladies and invalids. Any one who is drowned
will have every attention paid to his remains,--by the sharks.
BOATING.
Everybody boats. The ROWE Brothers are here, and sing on the water by
moonlight. You can blister your bands at an oar, or bale out the boat,
just as your taste inclines. As the life-preserver is a little out of
repair, I stay on shore.
FISHING.
Everybody fishes. There are all varieties, from speckled trout and
mackerel, up to conger eels, horse mackerel, and porpoises. Parties
frequently come back with all the fishing they want. If absent a week on
a trip, they can make arrangements to have their board run on just the
same.
DRIVING.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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