Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 24, September 10, 1870Various
General
Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 24, September 10, 1870
Various
American wit and humor -- Periodicals
Mr. FIELD looked there, but Mr. P. didn't. He thought it was time to go
for his train, and he went.
* * * * *
SEVERAL UNSAVORY RENDERINGS.
Why there should be such a thing as a New York Rendering Company is a
puzzle to thoughtful minds. Persons resident in certain districts of the
city, that border on the North River, though, are cognizant of that
Company. The North River nose knows the Co., and would close itself to
it, only that it is too close upon it to close effectually.
And what are the New York Rendering Company, and to whom do they render,
and what? Lard bless you! sir, or madam, they comprise a thing that
lives, if not by the sweat of its brow, at least by the suet of its
boilers. The dead horses of the city car companies are the creature's
normal food. Nor does it despise smaller venison, for it can batten upon
dead kittens, too, and fatten upon asphyxiated pup. Carnivorous,
decidedly, is the creature concreted by the New York Rendering Company,
converting all that it touches into fat, and so, living literally upon
the fat of the land. That the Company render other things besides fat,
however, has been for some time past a subject of complaint against
their management, and here are a few details of their renderings.
Once the atmosphere of the bays and rivers of New York was a source of
health to the excursionists who, in summer time, seek relaxation by
inexpensive voyages upon the waters adjacent to the city. By casting the
refuse of their carrion into these waters, the New York Rendering
Company have rendered foul and noxious the once healthful atmosphere of
our aquarian outlets, rendering themselves a nuisance, at the same time.
Thus, anything like a "pleasure" excursion by water, in the neighborhood
of New York, has been rendered impossible during the present season, by
the New York Rendering Company.
Off all the shores of our bays Offal has accumulated, and that during
the hottest summer on record for these latitudes. The waters have thus
been rendered unfit for bathing in, as the air has been rendered
pernicious to breathe--another rendering by the New York Rendering
Company, whose manifest mission is to offalize the world.
It is pleasant to know, then, that the renderings of the New York
Rendering Company are likely to be reactionary as well as suicidal,
(perhaps suetcidal might be a better word here,) in their results. Their
"offence is rank," and has reached the nose of authority, for we find it
stated that "Mayor HALL has already made complaint against the New York
Rendering Company, and that they will he indicted at the next sitting of
the Grand Jury."
And when their boiling nuisances come to be seized, as we trust they
will be, how jolly to see them "rendering to Seizer" all that has
rendered them the nuisance they are! Then let them render up the ghost,
and go out spluttering, like a dip candle from one of their own rancid
renderings--and so an end of them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account