Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 24, September 10, 1870 — John Shaqi
Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 24, September 10, 1870Various
General
Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 24, September 10, 1870
Various
American wit and humor -- Periodicals
thin, narrow-chested old gentleman, whom they informed, with
considerable humor, that he was only wasting hours which should be spent
with a spiritual adviser, in his useless attempts to take out a Policy
in _that_ office. The Boreal couldn't insure men who ought to be upon
their dying beds instead of coughing around Insurance offices. Ha, ha,
ha! Another gentleman, florid of countenance and absolutely without
neck, was quickly checked in the act of giving his name at one of the
desks; one clerk desiring another clerk to look, under the head of "A.,"
in his book, for "_Apoplexy_," and let this man see that we can't take
such a risk as he is on any terms. A third caller, who really looked
quite healthy except around the eyes, was also assured that he need not
call again--"Because, you see," explained the clerkly wag, "it's no go
for you to try to play your BRIGHT'S Disease on _us!_" When, however,
the applicant was a robustious, long-necked, fresh individual, he was
almost lifted from his feet in the rush of obliging young Boreals to
show him into the room of the Medical Examiner; and when, now and then,
an agent, or an insurance-broker, came dragging in, by the collar, some
Safe Risk, just captured, there was an actual contest to see who should
be most polite to the panting but healthy stranger, and obtain his
private biography for the consideration of the Company.
The Reverend OCTAVIUS studied these sprightly little scenes with
unspeakable interest until the arrival of Mr. SCHENCK, and then followed
that popular benefactor into his private office with the air of a man
who had gained a heightened admiration for his species.
"So you have come to your senses at last!" said Mr. SCHENCK, hastily
drawing his visitor toward a window in the side-room to which they had
retired. "Let me look at your tongue, sir."
"What do you mean?" asked the Gospeler, endeavoring to draw back.
"I mean what I say. Let--me--see--your--tongue.--Or, stop!" said Mr.
SCHENCK, seized with a new thought, "I may as well examine your general
organization first." And, flying at the astounded Ritualistic clergyman,
he had sounded his lungs, caused a sharp pain in his liver, and felt his
pulse, before the latter could phrase an intelligent protest.
"You may die at any moment, and probably will," concluded Mr. SCHENCK,
thoughtfully; "but still, on the score of friendship, we'll give you a
Policy for a reasonable amount, and take the chance of being able to
compromise with your mother on a certain per centage after the funeral."
"I don't want any of your plagued policies!" exclaimed the irritated
Gospeler, pushing away the hand striving to feel his pulse again.
"As you have expressed a desire to resign the guardianship of your
wards, Mr. and Miss PENDRAGON, and I have agreed to accept it, my
purpose in calling here is to obtain such statement of your account with
those young people as you may be disposed to render."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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