Punchinello, Volume 2, No. 28, October 8, 1870Various
General
Punchinello, Volume 2, No. 28, October 8, 1870
Various
American wit and humor -- Periodicals
6. At various times during her career she has received and successfully
done battle with 14,624 proposals of marriage, 14,600 of which were made
to her _in the city of Chicago!!!_
These evidences of her courage are sufficient to show what she is equal
to, under any emergency. We are now waiting to hear of a seventh act of
bravery on her part which will distance all the above; when she shall
have announced that she is prepared to lecture on "CHARLES DICKENS" she
will have given the last convincing proof that she is equal to
_anything_ terrible.
(Should Mr. PUNCHINELLO object that this biographical sketch is
desultory and "wandering," let him try, himself, to write the biography
of a lady who is incessantly and frantically roaming from one end of the
country to the other, and if he don't wander it will be a wonder.)
* * * * *
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!--HEIRS WANTED!
NEW YORK, Oct. 1, 1870.
We, the undersigned, as representatives of the family of the decedent,
hereby call upon all heirs of the late RICHARD COEUR DE LION, who may be
residing in or near this locality, to meet at the Astor House, in New
York, on the fifteenth of this present month of October, to take
measures for the recovery of such portion of the estate of said LION as
is known to have legally descended to his heirs in this country. This
property, to which it will be easy to prove that we, the undersigned,
together with the other members of our family, are the lineal heirs, is
believed to consist mainly of the two hundred thousand byzants assured
to the said LION by SALADIN after the capitulation of Acre. This sum,
which we have reason to believe was duly paid by said SALADIN at the
time appointed, when reduced from golden byzants into greenbacks, and
compound-interest at seven _per centum_ for the term of six hundred and
seventy-nine years calculated thereupon, will be found to amount to
upwards of one hundred and seventy thousand million dollars. When the
ransom money of twenty-five hundred Saracens, slain by said LION to
enforce the speedy payment of the principal of this sum by the said
SALADIN, shall have been deducted and paid to such heirs and survivors
of said Saracens as may immediately present their claims, the remainder
will be divided, (as soon as the necessary legal measures shall be
taken,) among the heirs and descendants of said LION in this country.
The immediate object of the meeting, which is now called by the
undersigned, is the collection of sufficient funds from said heirs and
descendants to defray the expenses of a committee (composed of the
undersigned) who shall be charged with the duty of visiting England,
Normandy and Palestine, and obtaining such evidence and such copies of
record in relation to this portion of the estate of the said LION, as
shall make necessary a speedy and equitable division of paid property
among the members of the family in this country.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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