Punchinello, Volume 2, No. 28, October 8, 1870Various
General
Punchinello, Volume 2, No. 28, October 8, 1870
Various
American wit and humor -- Periodicals
ROME, Oct. 15.--Talking this morning with the Pope, who took breakfast
with me, His Holiness said he had accepted JAMES GORDON BENNETT'S
invitation to come to Washington Heights on a visit, and wanted to know
whether I thought he would be expected to wear his tiara during meals. I
told him that I thought it would not be obligatory.
DUBLIN, Oct. 16.--The Irish Republic was to-day proclaimed at Cork, with
GEORGE FRANCIS TRAIN as Emperor. The Fenians say they would prefer a
constitutional monarchy.
PARIS, Oct. 15.--General CLUSERET assured me to-day that though Minister
WASHBURNE speaks French better than a native, yet he has not entirely
forgotten what little English he used to know, and further, that he is
confident it is not that gentleman's intention to make himself Dictator
of France by a _coup d' état_.
LONG BRANCH, Oct. 22--While smoking to-day with GRANT, I asked him what
he thought of the European complication, and he answered with a most
expressive silence.
* * * * *
[Illustration: STAYING THE MARCH.
_Liberty._ "HALT!" ]
* * * * *
HIRAM GREEN IN GOTHAM.
The venerable "Lait Gustise" sees the Sights, under Perplexing
Difficulties.
The native borned Gothamite mite have notissed, a short time since, a
venerable lookin' ex-Statesman, dressed in a becomin' soot of clothes
and a slick lookin' white hat.
The a-four-said honest old man carried a bloo cotton umbreller in one
hand, and an acksminister carpet bag in t'other. He had jest arroven to
the meetropolis on a North River steambote. The reader has probly gessed
by this time, that the man in question was the subscriber.
If he hasen't so surmised, I would inform him that it was. Jess so.
Arrivin' at a well-known tavern, where hash is provided for man and
beast, I handed my carpet bag over the counter.
The clerk at the offis put on rather more airs than a Revenoo offiser.
In fact, he was so full of airs I got a vilent cold standin' in his
pressence.
"Shan't I take that anshient circus tent?" said he, pintin' to my
umbreller, "and lock it up in the safe?"
I made no reply to this onmanerly interogetory, but strikin' an attitude
of pain, give him one of those gazes which BEN BUTLER allers makes tell,
in tryin' criminal cases.
I looked at that clerk cross-eyed, and it made him squirm.
I wasen't blind--not much.
That clerk wanted to steel _that_ umbreller, to send to HORRIS GREELEY,
so the Filosifer could keep the reign storms of Tammany from spatterin'
his white cote.
I understood his little dodge and nipped it.
"Snowball," said I, addressin' a dark skinned individual with a white
apern, while I was seated at the dinner table, "what in the deuce makes
all your dishes so small?"
"Dem is for one pusson, sah," said he. "Dat is an indiwidual butter
dish, sah. Dem is indiwidual vegetable dishes--and dat's an indiwidual
salt-cellar, sah," said he, pintin' to each piece of crockery.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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