Punchinello, Volume 2, No. 28, October 8, 1870Various
General
Punchinello, Volume 2, No. 28, October 8, 1870
Various
American wit and humor -- Periodicals
What, oh, what can be more true than this? A lady well stricken in
years, and of adequate protraction of nose and rectilinear undeviation
of figure, can travel alone from Maine to Florida with as perfect
immunity from offensive masculine intrusion as though she were guarded
by a regiment; while a somewhat younger girl, with curls and an innocent
look, can not appear unaccompanied by an escort in an American omnibus,
car, ferry-boat, or hotel, without appealing at once to the finest
fatherly feelings of every manly middle-aged observer whose wife is not
watching him, and exciting as general a desire to make her trip socially
delightful as though each gentlemanly eye seeking hers were indeed that
of a tender sire.
Thus, although Miss POTTS'S lonely stay in her hotel had been so brief,
the mysterious American instinct of chivalry had discovered it very
early on the first morning after her arrival, and she arose from her
delicious sleep to find at least half a dozen written offers of
hospitality from generous strangers, sticking under her door.
Understanding that she was sojourning without natural protectors in a
strange city, the thoughtful writers, who appeared to be chiefly Western
men of implied immense fortunes, begged her (by the delicate name of
"Fair Unknown") to take comfort in the thought that they were stopping
at the same hotel and would protect her from all harm with their lives.
In proof of this unselfish disposition on their parts, several of them
were respectively ready to take her to a circus-matinee, or to drive in
Central Park, on that very day: and her prompt acceptance of these
signal evidences of a disinterested friendship for womanhood without a
natural protector could not be more simply indicated to those who now
freely offered such friendship, than by her dropping her fork _twice_ at
the public breakfast table, or sending the waiter back _three_ times
with the boiled eggs to have them cooked rightly.
FLORA had completed her chemical toilet, put all the bottles, jars, and
small round boxes back into her satchel again, and sat down to a second
reading of these gratifying intimations that a prepossessing female
orphan is not necessarily without assiduous paternal guardianship at her
command wherever there are Western fathers, when Mr. DIBBLE appeared, as
he had promised, accompanied by Gospeler SIMPSON.
"Miss CAROWTHERS was so excited by your sudden flight, Miss POTTS," said
the latter, "that she came at once to me and OLDY with your farewell
note, and would not stop saying 'Did you ever!' until, to restrain my
aggravated mother from fits, I promised to follow you to your guardian's
and ascertain what your good-bye note would have meant if it had
actually been punctuated."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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