Punchinello, Volume 2, No. 30, October 22, 1870Various
General
Punchinello, Volume 2, No. 30, October 22, 1870
Various
American wit and humor -- Periodicals
[Illustration: _Gentleman, (reading.)_ "THE MILITARY AUTHORITIES OF
PARIS HAVE CUT DOWN AND UTTERLY DESTROYED THE BOIS DE BOULOGNE."
_Old Lady._ "POOR BOYS!--AND TO THINK WHAT THEIR DEAR MOTHERS MUST
SUFFER!"]
* * * * *
NAPOLEON'S CORRESPONDENCE.
The following letters were yesterday discovered among the private papers
of the late Emperor--L.N. BONAPARTE. They were instantly forwarded to
us by our special correspondent. They will be used to-morrow in a
mutilated form by less enterprising journals, such as the _Tribune_ and
its partners of the Associated Press.
"NEW YORK, May 10, 1860.
"DEAR EMPEROR: I am thinking of writing a biography of you, in the same
style as my biography of your Uncle. I shall want to prove that you were
never in New York, that you behaved with perfect propriety while you
were here, and that you are humble, unambitious, and deeply religious.
This will not be a difficult matter, after the success I have made in
the case of your Uncle. Still, I shall want a fact or two in the book.
Can you not supply me with them? Any small favor you may think fit to
send me may be directed to my usual address.
"Yours for truth and justice, J.S.C.A.B.B.O.T.T."
* * * * *
"CLICHY PRISON.
"VILLAIN AND USURPER! Your minions have incarcerated me in this vile den
on a pretence that I owe a debt which I have not paid. They lie,
wilfully and malignantly. I always pay my debts. Ask SEWARD if I do not.
He remembers how I paid him the little debt I owed him, when I defeated
his Presidential aspirations. Release me at once, or the _Tribune_ will
show your rotten Empire no mercy. If I am at liberty this evening I will
send you a prize strawberry plant, and a copy of my work on political
economy. If I am not at liberty by the time mentioned, beware. SMALLEY
shall be sent to Paris as the _Tribune's_ special correspondent, and
you'll see the sort of news about your infamous court that he'll be
instructed to send home.
"Yours Profanely, H.G."
* * * * *
"BERLIN, July 1, 1870.
"To THE EMPEROR OF THE FRENCH: His Majesty, the King, instructs me to
say that he shall do just as he pleases in all affairs public and
private. He advises you to attend to your own affairs, and if you have
any more propositions for stealing other people's territory, to address
them to Russia, or the United States. Prussia is not at present in that
line of business. BISMARCK."
* * * * *
"BUREAU OF POLICE, Jan. 1, 1870.
TO HIS MAJESTY, THE EMPEROR--SIRE: I beg leave to report that M.
ROCHEFORT demands the sum of 1,000,000 francs, to be paid at once.
Otherwise be will continue to be a patriot, and will abuse Her Majesty,
the Empress, with more violence than ever. Both M. ROCHEFORT and M.
FLOURENS are much enraged since their annual stipend has been
discontinued.
PIETRI, _Chief of Police_."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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