Punchinello, Volume 2, No. 37, December 10, 1870 — John Shaqi
Punchinello, Volume 2, No. 37, December 10, 1870Various
General
Punchinello, Volume 2, No. 37, December 10, 1870
Various
American wit and humor -- Periodicals
There was the Hon. THOS. JENKINS who refused to take it, because his
wife had a prejudice against Bulls ever since she was scared by one that
chased her five miles for no other reason than that she was what might
be called a red woman--well-read in the exciting house-wife literature
of the day. JENKINS positively declined.
Then it was offered to Col. CANNONAYDE, who declined it because his
mother-in-law declared that she would go along too, if he went, and he
thought it would be better not to let her have a change of air, as she
was in a fair way to wind up pretty soon by remaining near those swamps.
CANNONAYDE wanted the place kept open till after the funeral, but this
was not granted.
The next offer was made to Gen. BRAYLEIGH; but _he_ refused it on the
ground that he had made arrangements for going into the coal trade, and
he could not be sure of holding the place more than a few weeks. Anyway,
he thought it would not pay to give up the coalition he had entered into
with another party. In fact, old BRAYLEIGH treated the whole matter very
coldly.
It was next tendered to the Hon. THEOPHILUS SKINNER, but peremptorily
declined because SKINNER'S district had become Democratic since he was
elected, and he knew that if he resigned an infamous cannibal copperhead
would be sent to Congress in his stead. SKINNER consulted all the
leaders of his party, and they unanimously agreed that it would be
better to let every court in Europe be without an American
representative than risk the loss of that district.
Everybody knows why the Rev. Dr. BANGWELL, of Chicago, did not accept
it. The Doctor expected his divorce case to come on in a few days, and
could not neglect that; and besides, he had made all the arrangements
for his other marriage, and sent out the invitations. If the President
had just made some inquiries before appointing Dr. BANGWELL, he could
have found out that the Doctor's engagements would not permit him to
leave Chicago on any account.
The offer that was made to Col. KAMPSTUHL was declined solely because
the Colonel had an old score to settle with Gen. GRANT for something in
the way of a court-martial that happened near Tricksburg. He swore that
he would get square with the author of that business sometime, and when
the mission was offered to him (by accident, for Gen GRANT had forgotten
all about the court-martial), he got up a sepulchral voice, and said,
"Ha, ha! R-e-e-e-vendge at last!" and then wrote a bitter letter to
Washington on the subject.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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