Punchinello, Volume 2, No. 39, December 24, 1870. — John Shaqi
Punchinello, Volume 2, No. 39, December 24, 1870.Various
General
Punchinello, Volume 2, No. 39, December 24, 1870.
Various
American wit and humor -- Periodicals
Always select young game, if possible, as it is more likely to be tender
than that which has been condemned to the wall at numberless parties.
Game with freckles, or pimples, or cross eyes, can never be first-class.
CHAPTER II.
AMMUNITION.
Too much care cannot be exercised in the selection of this article. You
must take care that it is adapted to the game. If the bird be an
unbleached _blonde_, try first-class prayer-meetings, mild decoctions of
Sunday-school exhibitions, parlor concerts, and readings. If it wear
spectacles, some light, airy, and poetical reading matter, like BUTLER'S
_Analogy_, or the _Tribune_, is useful. If the bird be a _brunette_, try
theatres, balls, operas, etc.; suppers at DEL.'S have been known to do
execution among this class. Never try lectures to young women with this
kind of bird. The bleached _blondes_ are difficult to handle. If you
suspect the bleaching, try a judicious mixture of both kinds of
ammunition.
Some kinds of ammunition are adapted to all classes. Rings, especially
diamonds, fans, bouquets, and jewels can be used in quantities only
limited by the amount of your bank account, or of your employer's petty
cash. I have seen a bracelet do the business at once, though, to be
sure, it was a very gorgeous one. Serenades may be used to advantage,
but care must be taken in selecting the songs and the windows. To a
_blonde_ you may very well sing, "Thy eyes so blue, of violet hue;" to a
_brunette_, "Black-eyed Mary" or Susan; to a bleached _blonde_, "I am
dying, Egypt, dying." Never sing vulgar songs, which are used by hungry
lovers of cooks, such as, "Wilt thou meat me to-night by the old garden
gate," or, "Meat me by moonlight alone."
CHAPTER III.
BRINGING DOWN THE GAME.
Nowhere is more real skill required than here; If you do not make a dead
shot, you might better have saved your ammunition. Almost every wounded
bird escapes. Always make sure of your aim, and, when you fire, bring
down the bird. The proper course to pursue is this: carefully use your
ammunition, and, when you think things are favorable, and you get a good
sight, make your shot. You can always deliver it best on your knees. Be
careful that there is no little sister or brother around when you go in
for business, for snickering is catching, and the bird may fly before
you have delivered your shot.
Some shady nook is the proper place in which to do this part of the
business, unless the weather be cold; in that case I have known game to
be brought down by a sportsman in the hall, where the house was heated
by hot air. Parent birds sometimes interrupt the sportsman just as he
imagines that he has a sure thing, which certainly is very aggravating.
Game properly brought down drops upon your left shoulder, and you
judiciously apply your lips to its bill. After that a proper amount of
hugging is advantageous and nice, but be very careful not to keep the
parent birds up too late.
CHAPTER IV.
BAGGING THE GAME.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account