When a man wants to look slick, he takes an old blackin brush and rubs his domisil over with stove blackin, then goes over it with an old broom, puttin a polish onto a bildin, which makes it shine like a bran new cookstove. It is no onusual thing for the citezins of Pittsburg to carry along with them a basin of water, sope, towels, &c.; and when a person stops to shake hands with 'em, wash their faces, so as to be sure they haint associatin with a reglar descendant of HAM. This way is confined to the upper tendoms; but it is a singler fact that it is neccessary to remove the _upper crust,_ so as to oncover the superior man. Never havin heerd anything about the smokey condition of Pittsburgh, I was the victim of an adventoor which come mitey nigh puttin a quietuss, for a permanent period, onto my terrestial egistance. Ide just arroven into the city, from the northern part of the State. Thinkin Ide like to look the city over a bit, I sholdered my bloo cotton umbreller and carpet bag, and started on a tower of observashun. I walkt along gaeopin rite and left at the bildins, which I could only distingwish, as I got rite opposite of em. Just as I stopped to rest myself a minnit, a man say's to me: "Git out of the way, Cuffee." I turned to impale him with my impenetratin gaze, when he disappeared in the smoke. Gropin my way along I suddenly was run into, by another man. As he struck me vilently into the stomack, he hollered out: "You black raskil! how dare you run into a respectable man?" My blood was gettin hot. "Me, a black raskel," said I, makin a push to ceaze him by the throte, "Ile larn you that you can't call them names to me with impunerty, not by a darn site." In the thick smoke which surronded me, I grabbed for Mister man, when to my horror! my hand came in contact with a lot of curly hair, and by the shriek which greeted my ear, I was conshus that I had made a misgo, and was clutchin a womans water-fall. Turnin full onto me (and Ketchin my cote sleeve), she says, "Oh! you black villian, how dare you insult a lady?" Tearin myself from her grasp, I rushed madly on. I could feel pedestrians glide by me. There I was in a strange land. From all sides it was, smoke--smoke--smoke, darkness--darkness--darkness. Ide read about the Egipshun darkness, but Pittsburgh is ahead of that, for while I couldent see in Pittsburgh, the blamed smoke was suffocatin me, and makin the teers run down my cheeks, like the prodigal son, when he was mournin for the deth of a rich unkle, who'd left him some cash, I made up my mind, that I would try and enter a bildin somewhere, and implore the ade of a pilot.