MRS. ALLBUTT-INNETT (_as she leaves, for the benefit of bystanders_). I must say, the house is _most_ disappointing--not at _all_ what I should expect a _Marquis_ to live in. Why, my _own_ reception-rooms are very nearly as large, and decorated in a much more modern style! BOBBIE PATTERSON (_to a_ "DOOSID GOOD-NATURED FELLOW, _who doesn't care what he does," and whom he has just discovered inside a case got up to represent an automatic sweetmeat machine_). Why, my dear old _chap_! No idea it was _you_ inside that thing! Enjoying yourself in there, eh? The DOOSID GOOD-NATURED FELLOW (_fluffily, from the interior_). Enjoying myself! With the beastly pennies droppin' down into my boots, and the kids howlin' because all the confounded chocolates have worked up between my shoulder-blades, and I can't shake 'em out of the slit in my arm? I'd like to see _you_ tryin' it! The L. O. L. (_to a stranger, who is approaching the_ _Princess's stall_). 'Ere, Mister, where are your manners? 'Ats off in the presence o' Royalty! [_She pokes him in the back with her umbrella; the stranger turns, smiles slightly, and passes on._ A WELL-INFORMED BYSTANDER. You are evidently unaware, Madam, that the gentleman you have just addressed is His Serene Highness the Prince of Potsdam! The L. O. L. (_aghast_). Her '_usban_'! And me a jobbin' of 'im with my umbrella! 'Ere, let me get out! [_She staggers out, in deadly terror of being sent to the Tower on the spot._ [Illustration] THE CLASSICAL SCHOLAR IN REDUCED CIRCUMSTANCES. You are, let us say, a young professional man in chambers or offices, incompetently guarded by an idiot boy whom you dare not trust with the responsibility of denying you to strangers. You hear a knock at your outer door, followed by conversation in the clerk's room, after which your salaried idiot announces "A Gentleman to see you." Enter a dingy and dismal little man in threadbare black, who advances with an air of mysterious importance. "I think," he begins, "I 'ave the pleasure of speaking to Mr.----" (_whatever your name is_.) "I take the liberty of calling, Mr.----, to consult you on a matter of the utmost importance, and I shall feel personally obliged if you will take precautions for our conversation not being over'eard." He looks grubby for a client--but appearances are deceptive, and you offer him a seat, assuring him that he may speak with perfect security--whereupon he proceeds in a lowered voice.