MR. J. Oh, _you_ know the sort of thing the public likes--they'll want to know what sort of diggings you've got, how you dress when you're at home, and all that, how you write your books, now--you do write books, don't you? Thought so. Well, that's what the public likes. You see, your name's a good deal up just now--no humbug, it _is_ though! Between ourselves, you know, I think the whole business is the balliest kind of rot, but they've got to have it, so there you are, don't you see. I don't pretend to be a well-read sort of fellow, never was particularly fond of readin' and that; no time for it, and besides, I've always said _Books_ don't teach you knowledge of the world. I know the world fairly well--but I didn't learn it from books--ah, you agree with me there--_you_ know what skittles all that talk is about education and that. Well, as I was sayin', I don't read much, I see the _Field_ every week, and a clinkin' good paper it is, tells you everythin' worth knowin', and I read the _Pink Un_, too. Do you know any of the fellows on it? Man I know is a great friend of one of them, he's going to introduce me some day, I like knowin' literary chaps, don't you? You've been about a good deal, haven't you? I expect you must have seen a lot, travellin' as you do. I've done a little travellin' myself, been to Monte Carlo, you know, and the Channel Islands--_you_ ever been to the Channel Islands? Oh, you ought to go, it's a very cheery place. Talkin' of Monte Carlo, I had a rattlin' good time at the tables there; took out a hundred quid, determined I would have a downright good flutter, and Jove! I made that hundred last me over five days, and came away in nothing but my lawn-tennis flannels. That's what I _call_ a flutter, don't you know! Er--beastly weather we're havin'! You have pretty good weather where you've been? A young brother of mine has been out for a year in Texas--he said _he'd_ very good weather--of course that's some way off where _you_'ve come from--Central Africa, isn't it? Talkin' of my brother, what do you think the young ass did?--went out there with a thousand pounds, and paid it all down to some sportsmen who took him to see some stock they said belonged to them--of course he found out after they'd off'd it that they didn't own a white mouse among 'em! But then, Dick's one of those chaps, you know, that think themselves so uncommon knowing, they _can't_ be had. I always told him he'd be taken in some day if he let his tongue wag so much--too fond of hearing himself talk, don't you know, great mistake for a young fellow; sure to say somethin' you'd better have let alone. I suppose you're getting rather sick of all these banquets, receptions, and that? They do you very well, certainly. I went to one of these Company dinners some time ago, and they did me as well as I've ever been done in my life, but when you've got to sit still afterwards and listen to some chap who's been somewhere and done