LADY DAMP. But will the East-Enders understand your personal allusions? MR. BAG. Well, you see, the people in the front rows will, which is all _I_ want. LADY HONOR (_suspiciously_). Isn't _Mrs. Jarley_ out of _Pickwick_, though? That's Dickens, surely! MR. BAG. (_reassuringly_). Nothing but the name, Lady Honor. I make up all the patter myself, so that'll be all right--just good-natured chaff, you know; if anybody's offended--as I've known them to be--it's no fault of mine. MRS. FLITT. Oh, I'm sure you will make it funny,--and about getting someone to preside--I suppose we ought to ask the Vicar of the nearest church? LADY HONOR. Wouldn't it be better to get somebody--a--more in Society, don't you know? MRS. FLITT. And he might offer to pay for hiring the Hall, and the other expenses. I never thought of that. I'll see whom I can get. Really I think it ought to be great fun, and we shall have the satisfaction of feeling we are doing real good, which is such a comfort! [Illustration] BOOKMAKERS ON THE BEACH. A SKETCH AT A SEA-SIDE RACE MEETING. _The Sands at Baymouth, where some pony and horse races are being run. By the Grand Stand, and under the wall of the esplanade, about a dozen bookmakers, perched on old packing-cases, are clamouring with their customary energy. The public, however, for some reason seems unusually deaf to their blandishments and disinclined for speculation, and the bookmakers, after shouting themselves hoarse with little or no result, are beginning to feel discouraged._ BOOKMAKERS (_antiphonally_). Evens on the field! Three to one bar one! Five to one bar two! Six to one bar one! Even money _Beeswing_! Six to one _Popgun_! Come on 'ere. Two to one on the field! What do you want to _do_? [_The public apparently want to look another way._ FIRST BOOKMAKER (_to SECOND BOOKMAKER_). Not much 'ere to-day! Shawn't get no roast baked and biled this journey, eh? SECOND B. (_with deep disgust_). They ain't _got_ no money! Baymouth's going down. Why, this might be a bloomin' Sunday-school treat! Blest if I believe they know what we're 'ere _for_! THIRD B. (_after pausing to refresh himself, sardonically to FOURTH BOOKMAKER_). De-lightful weather, William! WILLIAM (_in a similar tone of irony_). What a glorious day, Percy! Sech a treat to see all the people enjoyin' theirselves without any o' the silly speculation yer _do_ find sometimes on occasions like this! (_He accepts the bottle his friend passes, and drinks._) 'Ere's better luck to all!