Puppets at Large: Scenes and Subjects from Mr Punch's ShowAnstey, F.
General
Puppets at Large: Scenes and Subjects from Mr Punch's Show
Anstey, F.
English wit and humor
JIMMY (_aged eight, to Florrie, aged seven_). No, I ain't comin' to the
Reckereation Groun', not jess yit, I carn't.... I'm goin' ter wyte about
'ere till the lidy comes.... Why, 'er as is comin' to see my Muvver
'bout sendin' me fur a fortnight in the kerntry.... Yus, where I was
larst year.... It's settled as I'm ter go agine--leastways as _good_ as
settled. My Farver 'e've sent in a happlication to the K'mitty, and
Teacher 'e sez 'e kin reckermend me, an' Mr. and Mrs. Delves--them as
'ad the cottidge where I went afore--they've arst fur to 'ave me
agin--so you see, Florrie, it's all _right_. On'y I carn't settle to
nuffink afore I know when I'm goin', an' about the trine an' that. Yer
'ave to roide in a trine to git to the kerntry, yer know.... Wot, ain't
yer never bin there?... Yer'd wanter fawst enough if yer knoo what it
was loike.... There's grorss there, an' trees an' that.... Na-ow, a
_lot_ better 'n the Reckereation Groun'--that's all mide outer old
grivestones as the deaders 'as done wiv. There's 'ills an' bushes an'
'edges where yer can pick flowers.... There ain't no perlice to _git_
yer locked up.... An' everyfink smells so lovelly, kinder 'elthy
like--it mikes yer feel 'ungry.... Not like sassages an' inions
azackly--'tain't that sorter smell.... On'y 'ere and there, an' yer'd
'ardly tell they _was_ shops, they kerry 'em on that quoiet.... Yer
wouldn' call it poky if yer was there. Mr. Delves 'e _was_ a kind man,
'e was; mide me a whistle out a sickermore brornch, 'e did; and Mrs.
Delves, she lemme help her feed the chickings.... They 'ad a garding
beyind, an' there'd bin rasberries an' gooseberries a growin' on
bushes--strite, there 'ad--I ain't tellin' yer no lies--on'y they was
all gone by then. An' they 'ad a dog--Rover _'is_ nime was--'e was a
koind dog, lemme lay insoide of 'is kennel orfen, 'e would.... I'd like
ter 'ave a run over thet Common agen, too. I dessay as I shell--p'reps
the d'y arter to-morrer.... There's a pond on it, an' geese, an' they
comes at yer a stritching out their necks an' a-'issin' thet
sevidge.... Na-ow, yer've on'y got ter walk up to 'em, an' they goes
orf, purtendin' they took yer fur somebody else, an' wasn't meanin' no
offence. I ain't afride o' no geese, I ain't--nor yet Lily wasn't
neither. We sor a pig 'aving a ring put froo 'is nose one day. 'E
'ollered out like 'e was bein' killed--but 'e wasn't. An' there was a
blecksmiff's, where they put the 'orse's shoes on red 'ot, 'an the 'orse
'e never took no notice. Me and Lily used ter go fur long walks, all
under trees. Once she showed me a squill--"squerl" _she_ kep' a-calling
of it, till I tole 'er 'ow--an' it run up a tree zigzag, and jumped on
to another ever so fur. That was when we was pickin' nuts. We went a
blackberryin', too, one day.... Na-ow, there warn't nobody dead. An'
Lily ... Lily Delves 'er nime was, b'longed to them I was stoppin'
wiv.... I didn't notice partickler.... Older nor you, an' bigger, and
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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