He was mildly surprised therefore, when while spelling Spero at the
controls during the sleep period, he became suddenly aware of someone
standing at his elbow. She was wearing a robins-egg-blue dressing robe,
loose-fitting except around the curve of her breasts. She sat down in
the co-pilot's seat next to him.
"Mind if I keep you company awhile? I can't seem to get to sleep."
"A pleasure," Carl said with genuine enthusiasm.... He stopped
awkwardly, wondering what to say.... Impulsively, he ran his open hand
across the width of the blister glass. "Want a hunk of space, baby. Say
where to cut and I'll slice it for you."
She smiled a little. "You sound a little like Ferguson when you talk
that way."
Carl pretended to check the dials.
"Carl?"
On his forearm he could feel Diane's fingers. He turned.
"What makes a man like that?"
He moved his shoulders. "I don't know, unless it's because he's always
been able to buy anything he's ever wanted. As far as I know, there's
only been one thing he hasn't been able to buy, and he's working on
that."
"You mean immortality?"
Carl ignored the question. "Why ask me about Ferguson's mind anyhow?"
he asked suddenly. "You're the psychologist of this expedition." He
watched her nibble on her lower lip for a moment, then went on: "You
don't have to admit it. I just want you to know you've been doing a
good job. I don't know how long you can keep it up or what happens
after we get to Venus, but up till now you've been doing all right.
There's only one thing wrong with the setup as far as I can see, and
that's that this arm's-length policy apparently applies to me as well
as it does to everyone else. I know it's necessary to the plan, and I
know it's a selfish argument, but it bothers me!"
She turned and faced him. For a moment it occurred to him she was
angry, but when she spoke, her voice was soft, and deep, and lingering.
"I'm sorry, Carl, but you can see why it has to be this way.... I
mean--"
Carl leaned over suddenly and kissed her full on the lips. She didn't
pull away. Neither did she respond the way he'd have liked her to.
After a brief interval he felt the pressure of her hand against his
shoulder.
"Please Carl, not now."
"When?"
She turned away. On the starboard port he could see the reflection of
her finely-moulded face. She looked wistful, almost on the verge of
tears.
"I don't know, Carl," she said wearily. "Maybe after we're settled on
Venus. Maybe after the migration starts."
Keating hacked up a laugh. "Just what makes you so sure there's going
to be a migration, or for that matter any little men who never grow old
as long as they have their daily diet of ammonia and chlorine?"
He watched her turn, felt her eyes bore into him. "You don't believe
it, do you?"
"I'm not sure," Carl said carefully, "I want to believe it, only I've
listened to so many bug yarns in my time it's probably warped my sense
of values. The whole thing just sounds too fantastic."
"But the pictures?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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