Did you ever sit in the office with one of these prisoners and watch him
looking out of his window upon prosperous farmers as they untied fine
teams and drove away in comfortable carriages? Did you know how to
translate that look in his eye, and the sad abstraction of manner into
which he momentarily sank, in spite of his creed, which taught him to
always seem prosperous and contented? The translation was not hard. His
mind was following that farmer out of town and along the green lanes,
bordered by meadows and clover bloom, and on down the road through the
cool twilight of the quiet summer evening, to where the ribbon of dark
green forest, whose cool cadence had called to him so often, changed to
groves of whispering trees that bordered the winding stream that spoke of
the swimming holes and fishing pools of his boyhood. And on up the road
again, across the fertile prairie lands, until he turns in at the gate of
an orchard-embowered home. And do you think the picture is less attractive
to this exile because it has not the stately front and the glistening
paint of the smart house in town? Not at all. The smart house with
glistening paint is the one he must aspire to in town, but his ideal home
is that snug farmhouse to which his fancy has followed the prosperous
farmer.
That picture is not altogether a product of poetic fancy. We get glimpses
of such pictures in confidential talks with lawyers and doctors in almost
every town. These poor fellows may fret and sigh for change, "and spend
their lives for naught," but the hunger never leaves them. Not long ago a
professional man who has spent twenty-five years of his life imprisoned in
an office, most of the time just waiting, spoke to me of his longing to
"get out." His longing had become almost a madness. He forgot the creed,
to always appear prosperous, and spoke in bitterness of his life of sham.
He said he was like the general of the old rhyme who "marched up the hill
and--marched down again." He went up to his office and--went home again,
day in and day out, year in and year out, and for what? But
_failurephobia_ held him there, and he is there yet.
What schemes such unfortunates sometimes concoct to escape their fate! I
was told of a physician who was "working up a cough," to have an excuse to
go west "for his health." How often we hear or read of some bright doctor
or lawyer who had a "growing" practice and a "bright future" before him,
having to change his occupation on account of his health failing!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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