Infallible, Touch-the-Button System that Always Cured--Indefinite Movements and Manipulations--Wealth of Undeveloped Scientific Facts--Osteopaths Taking M.D. Course--The Standpatter and the Drifter--The "Lesionist"--"Bone Setting"--"Inhibiting a Center"--Chiropractics--"Finest Anatomists in the World"--How to Cure Torticollis, Goitre and Enteric Troubles--A Successful Osteopath--Timid Old Maids--Osteopathic Philanthropy. CHAPTER X--OSTEOPATHY AS RELATED TO SOME NOTORIOUS FAKES 111 Sure Shot Rheumatism Cure--Regular Practitioner's Discomfiture--Medicines Alone Failed to Cure Rheumatism--Osteopathy Relieves Rheumatic and Neuralgic Pains--"Move Things"--"Pop" Stray Cervical Vertebrae--Find Something Wrong and Put it Right--Terrible Neck-Wrenching, Bone-Twisting Ordeal. CHAPTER XI--TAPEWORMS AND GALLSTONES 119 Plug-hatted Faker--Frequency of Tapeworms--Some Tricks Exposed--How the Defunct Worm was Passed--Rubber Near-Worm--New Gallstone Cure--Relation to Osteopathy--Perfect, Self-Oiling, "Autotherapeutic" Machine--Touch the Button--The Truth About the Consumption and Insanity Cures. THE MORAL TO THE TALE 125 Honesty--Plain Dealing--Education. PART ONE IN GENERAL Quacks and Grafters By EX-OSTEOPATH CHAPTER I. BY WAY OF INTRODUCTION. The Augean Stables of Therapeutics--The Remedy--Reason for Absence of Dignified Literary Style--Diploma Mills--"All but Holy"--Dr. Geo. H. Simmons' Opinion--American Medical Association Not Tyrannical--Therapeutics of To-day a Deplorable Muddle. In writing this booklet I do not pose as a Hercules come to cleanse the Augean stables of therapeutics. No power but that of a public conscience awakened to the prevalence of quackery and grafting in connection with doctoring can clear away the accumulated filth. Like Marc Antony, I claim neither wit, wisdom nor eloquence; but as a plain, blunt man I shall "speak right on of the things I do know" about quacks and grafters. In writing of Osteopathy I claim the right to speak as "one having authority," for I have been on the "inside." As to grafting in connection with the practice of medicine I take the viewpoint of a layman, who for years has carefully read the medical literature of the popular press, and of late years a number of representative professional journals, in an effort to get an intelligent conception of the theory and practice of therapeutics. I have not tried to write in a professional style. I have been reading professional literature steadily for some time, and need a rest from the dignified ponderosity of some of the stuff I had to flounder through.