“'You ought t' try, cook,' says the skipper, 'for the sake o' the crew.
We'll all die,' says he, 'afore we sights of Bully Dick agin,' says he,
'if you keeps on burnin' the water. You _got_ t' get married, cook, t'
the first likely maid you sees on the Labrador,' says he, 't' save the
crew. She'd do the cookin' for you. It 'll be the loss o' all hands,'
says he, 'an you don't, This here burned water,' says he, 'will be the
end of us, cook, an you keeps it up.'
“'I'd be wonderful glad t' 'blige you, skipper,' says the cook, 'an' I'd
like t' 'blige all hands. 'Twon't be by my wish,' says he, 'that
anybody'll die o' the grub they gets.'
“'Cook,' says the skipper, 'shake! I knows a _man_,' says he, 'when I
sees one. Any man,' says he, 'that would put on the irons o' matrimony,'
says he, 't' 'blige a shipmate,' says he, 'is a better man 'n me, an' I
loves un like a brother.'
“Which cheered the cook up considerable.
“'Cook,' says the skipper, 'I 'pologize. Yes, I do, cook,' says he, 'I
'pologize.'
“'I isn't got no feelin' agin' matrimony,' says the cook. 'But I isn't
able t' get took. I been tryin' every maid t' Thunder Arm,' says he,
'an' they isn't one,' says he, 'will wed a fool.'
“'Not one?' says the skipper.
“'Nar a one,' says the cook.
“'I'm s'prised,' says the skipper.
“'Nar a maid t' Thunder Arm,' says the cook, 'will wed a fool, an' I
'low they isn't one,' says he, 'on the Labrador.'
“'It's been done afore, cook,' says the skipper, 'an' I 'low 'twill be
done agin, if the world don't come to an end t' oncet. Cook,' says he,
'I _knows_ the maid t' do it.'
“The poor cook begun t' grin. 'Does you, skipper?' says he. 'Ah,
skipper, no, you doesn't!' And he sort o' chuckled, like the fool he
was. 'Ah, now, skipper,' says he, '_you_ doesn't know no maid would
marry me!”
“'Ay, b'y,' says the skipper, 'I got the girl for _you_. An' she isn't a
thousand miles,' says he, 'from where that dam' ol' basket of a _White
Lily_ lies at anchor,' says he, 'in Whoopin' Harbor. She isn't what
you'd call handsome an' tell no lie,' says he, 'but--'
“'Never you mind about that, skipper.'
“'No,' says the skipper, 'she isn't handsome, as handsome goes, even in
these parts, but--'
“'Never you mind, skipper,' says the cook. 'If 'tis anything in the
shape o' woman,' says he, ''twill do.'
“'I 'low that Liz Jones would take you, cook,' says the skipper. 'You
ain't much on wits, but you got a good-lookin' hull; an' I 'low she'd be
more'n willin' t' skipper a craft like you. You better go ashore, cook,
when you gets cleaned up, an' see what she says. Tumm,' says he, 'is
sort o' shipmates with Liz,' says he, 'an' I 'low he'll see you through
the worst of it.'
“'Will you, Tumm?' says the cook.
“'Well,' says I, 'I'll see.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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