Quality Street: A ComedyBarrie, J. M. (James Matthew)
General
Quality Street: A Comedy
Barrie, J. M. (James Matthew)
Comedy plays; Courtship -- Drama; Single women -- Drama; Sisters -- Drama; Women teachers -- Drama
MISS SUSAN. I have just lent it to poor Charlotte Parratt.
PHOEBE. Oh, auntie!
OLD SOLDIER. And now Miss Livvy cannot go into the shrubbery to see
the moon; and she is so fond of the moon!
(MISS PHOEBE _screws her nose at him merrily, and darts back to the
dance, but she has left a defender behind her._)
A GALLANT (_whose name we have not succeeded in discovering_). Am I to
understand, sir, that you are intimating disparagement of the moon? If
a certain female has been graciously pleased to signify approval of
that orb, any slight cast upon the moon, sir, I shall regard as a
personal affront.
OLD SOLDIER. Hoity-toity.
(_But he rises, and they face each other, as_ MISS SUSAN _feels, for
battle. She is about to rush between their undrawn swords when there
is a commotion outside; a crowd gathers and opens to allow some
officers to assist a fainting woman into the tent. It is_ MISS PHOEBE,
_and_ MISS SUSAN _with a cry goes on her knees beside her. The tent
has filled with the sympathetic and inquisitive, but_ CAPTAIN BROWN,
_as a physician, takes command, and by his order they retire. He finds
difficulty in bringing the sufferer to, and gets little help from_ MISS
SUSAN, _who can only call upon_ MISS PHOEBE _by name._)
VALENTINE. Nay, Miss Susan, 'tis useless calling for Miss Phoebe.
'Tis my fault; I should not have permitted Miss Livvy to dance so
immoderately. Why do they delay with the cordial?
(_He goes to the back to close the opening, and while he is doing so
the incomprehensible_ MISS PHOEBE _seizes the opportunity to sit up on
her couch of chairs, waggle her finger at_ MISS SUSAN, _and sign darkly
that she is about to make a genteel recovery._)
PHOEBE. Where am I? Is that you, Aunt Susan? What has happened?
VALENTINE (_returning_). Nay, you must recline, Miss Livvy. You
fainted. You have over-fatigued yourself.
PHOEBE. I remember.
(BLADES _enters with the cordial._)
VALENTINE. You will sip this cordial.
BLADES. By your leave, sir.
(_He hands it to_ PHOEBE _himself._)
VALENTINE. She is in restored looks already, Miss Susan.
PHOEBE. I am quite recovered. Perhaps if you were to leave me now
with my excellent aunt----
VALENTINE. Be off with you, apple cheeks.
BLADES. Sir, I will suffer no reference to my complexion; and, if I
mistake not, this charming lady was addressing you.
PHOEBE. If you please, both of you. (_They retire together, and no
sooner have they gone than_ MISS PHOEBE _leaps from the couch, her eyes
sparkling. She presses the cordial on_ MISS SUSAN.) Nay, drink it,
Susan. I left it for you on purpose. I have such awful information to
impart. Drink. (MISS SUSAN _drinks tremblingly and then the bolt is
fired._) Susan, Miss Henrietta and Miss Fanny are here!
MISS SUSAN. Phoebe!
PHOEBE. Suddenly my eyes lighted on them. At once I slipped to the
ground.
MISS SUSAN. You think they did not see you?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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