How greatly he was mistaken in this, came most painfully home to him
with the first stolen glimpse which he ventured to take of Lydia's face
in the pitiless radiance of the bright candles which shone upon the
round table in the dining-room, where he sat opposite her. Was that
really ... Lydia? Or had some mischievous imp, by cruel witchcraft, put
a caricature of herself in her place, and changed the picture of the
bright and gifted girl, overflowing with jest and fun, with humour and
wit; the girl with the somewhat irregular but most piquant features,
with the big, light-blue, mischievous eyes, fresh and rosy of colour,
with wild, fluttering, blonde locks, into the picture of an aging
coquette, for ever pouting her thin lips, even when she laughed, so as
to hide her false teeth; now lowering, now lifting her eyelids, like an
actress, in vain endeavouring to give some light to her eyes--a light
as treacherous as the all too bright pinkiness of the lean cheek, the
all too dark carmine of the ears, adorned though they were with
sparkling diamonds? An ugly old woman, who now let the gold embroidered
white silk shawl glide from the scraggy shoulders, only to draw it up
again immediately and attempt a more picturesque drapery--which was not
a success, so that the game had to be renewed forthwith!
And he had once loved this painted, dressed-up, revoltingly coquettish
person; had loved her with the best, purest strength of his heart, as,
but a little while ago, he had assured Erna with passionate eagerness.
It was horrible! Would Erna believe that yonder withered shrub had ever
blossomed in vernal brightness and beauty? How could she believe it,
when she looked at the friend of Lydia's youth, her own mother, whose
majestic beauty was barely touched by Time in his flight? Her great
brown eyes had lost none of their velvety softness, her raven hair
still shone in undimmed splendour. And if the difference in appearance,
in manner, was now so great between the two ladies, must it not always
have existed? And must not the taste of a man, whose feelings could at
any time have led him so far astray, have been at all times most
lamentable?
And if the pitiless brightness had brought so terrible a discovery to
him, how would he himself appear before Erna's searching gaze? Had not
some horrible change taken place with him too? Why, these twenty years
had altered Erna's father, who at college had been rightly surnamed
'The Beauty,' into an excessively stout gentleman, with a somewhat
bloated countenance, and a mighty skull, which was getting painfully
bald in the region of the temples! And he himself had never been
distinguished for personal attraction; true, his hair was as dark as
ever; and, before supper, in the glass, he had thought that he saw a
pale and grave, but not a worn, face. But then the complaisant mirror
of vanity might make one fancy one saw all sorts of things. No doubt
Lydia had just such a mirror in her room!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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