But still, why think you, friend, it was not I? Has not your spouse with you a right to try What freaks he likes? NEIGHBOUR But then, upon the ground This girl was thrown, and never cried nor frown'd; You laugh.-- WIFE Indeed I do, 'twas myself. NEIGHBOUR A flannel petticoat display'd the elf. WIFE 'Twas mine: NEIGHBOUR Be patient:--and inform me, pray, If this were worn by you or her to-day? There lies the point, for, if you'll me believe, Your husband did--the most you can conceive. WIFE How hard of credence!--'twas myself I vow. NEIGHBOUR Oh! that's conclusive; I'll be silent now; Though truly I am led to think, my eyes Are pretty sharp, and much I feel surprise At what you say; in fact, I would have sworn, I saw them thus at romps this very morn; Excuse the hint, and do not turn her off. WIFE Why, turn her off?--the very thought I scoff; She serves me well. NEIGHBOUR And so it seems is taught; By all means keep her then, since thus she's thought. THE AVARICIOUS WIFE AND TRICKING GALLANT WHO knows the world will never feel surprise, When men are duped by artful women's eves; Though death his weapon freely will unfold; Love's pranks, we find, are ever ruled by gold. To vain coquettes I doubtless here allude; But spite of arts with which they're oft endued; I hope to show (our honour to maintain,) We can, among a hundred of the train, Catch one at least, and play some cunning trick:-- For instance, take blithe Gulphar's wily nick, Who gained (old soldier-like) his ardent aim, And gratis got an avaricious dame. LOOK well at this, ye heroes of the sword, Howe'er with wily freaks your heads be stored, Beyond a doubt, at court I now could find, A host of lovers of the Gulphar kind. To Gasperin's so often went our wight, The wife at length became his sole delight, Whose youth and beauty were by all confessed; But, 'midst these charms, such av'rice she possessed, The warmest love was checked--a thing not rare, In modern times at least, among the FAIR. 'Tis true, as I've already said, with such Sighs naught avail, and promises not much; Without a purse, who wishes should express, Would vainly hope to gain a soft caress. The god of love no other charm employs, Then cards, and dress, and pleasure's cheering joys; From whose gay shops more cuckolds we behold, Than heroes sallied from Troy's horse of old. BUT to our lady's humour let's adhere; Sighs passed for naught: they entered not her ear; 'Twas speaking only would the charmer please, The reader, without doubt, my meaning sees; Gay Gulphar plainly spoke, and named a sum A hundred pounds, she listened:--was o'ercome. OUR wight the cash by Gasperin was lent; And then the husband to the country went, Without suspecting that his loving mate, Designed with horns to ornament his pate. THE money artful Gulphar gave the dame,