R.U.R. (Rossum's Universal Robots): A Fantastic Melodrama in Three Acts and an EpilogueČapek, Karel
Science
R.U.R. (Rossum's Universal Robots): A Fantastic Melodrama in Three Acts and an Epilogue
Čapek, Karel
Czech drama -- Translations into English; Robots -- Drama; Science fiction plays
HELENA. What a pity that it’s to be discovered in _all_ the school
books of both Europe and America. (_BOTH laugh._)
DOMIN. Yes. But do you know what _isn’t_ in the school books? That old
Rossum was mad. Seriously, Miss Glory, you must keep this to yourself.
The old crank wanted to actually make _people_.
HELENA. But you do make people.
DOMIN. _Approximately_--Miss Glory. But old Rossum meant it literally.
He wanted to become a sort of scientific substitute for _God_. He was a
fearful materialist, and that’s why he did it all. His sole purpose was
nothing more or less than to prove that God was no longer necessary.
(_Crosses to end of couch_) Do you know anything about anatomy?
HELENA. Very little.
DOMIN. Neither do I. Well-- (_He laughs_) --he then decided to
manufacture everything as in the human body. I’ll show you in the
museum the bungling attempt it took him ten years to produce. It was
to have been a _man_, but it lived for three days only. Then up came
_young_ Rossum, an engineer. He was a wonderful fellow, Miss Glory.
When he saw what a mess of it the old man was making he said: “It’s
absurd to spend ten years making a man. If you can’t make him quicker
than Nature, you might as well shut up shop.” Then he set about
learning anatomy himself.
HELENA. There’s nothing about _that_ in the school books?
DOMIN. No. The school books are full of paid advertisements, and
rubbish at that. What the school books say about the _united efforts_
of the two great Rossums is all a fairy tale. They used to have
dreadful rows. The old _atheist_ hadn’t the slightest conception of
industrial _matters_, and the end of it was that Young Rossum shut him
up in some laboratory or other and let him fritter the time away with
his monstrosities while he himself started on the business from an
_engineer’s_ point of view. Old Rossum _cursed_ him and before he died
he managed to botch up two physiological horrors. Then one day they
found him dead in the _laboratory_. And that’s his whole story.
HELENA. And what about the young man?
DOMIN. (_Sits beside her on couch_) Well, anyone who has looked into
human anatomy will have seen at once that man is too complicated, and
that a good engineer could make him more simply. So young Rossum began
to _overhaul_ anatomy to see what could be left out or simplified. In
short--But this isn’t boring you, Miss Glory?
HELENA. No, indeed. You’re--It’s awfully interesting.
DOMIN. (_Gets closer_) So young Rossum said to himself: “A man is
something that feels happy, plays the piano, likes going for a walk,
and, in fact, wants to do a whole lot of things that are really
unnecessary.”
HELENA. Oh.
DOMIN. That are unnecessary when he wants-- (_Takes her hand_) --let us
say, to weave or count. Do you play the piano?
HELENA. Yes.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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