Radiant Motherhood: A Book for Those Who are Creating the FutureStopes, Marie Carmichael
Science
Radiant Motherhood: A Book for Those Who are Creating the Future
Stopes, Marie Carmichael
Mothers
Some such experience, generally and fortunately limited to
comparatively short though different periods, is not infrequently felt
and is often a source of secret distress and anguish to the young
wife whose sense of loyalty to the man she loves and married bars her
from the relief of talking of these feelings. As is now beginning
to be realized, emotions deeply experienced which are deliberately
suppressed, may have far reaching effects even on the health. It is,
therefore, well that she should know what is, I am sure, the truth,
that this physical repugnance, which sometimes even amounts to a
detestation of sharing the same house with the husband, and a desire to
escape even from the superficial contact of eating in the same room
with him, is a temporary phase, possibly phylogenetic[4] in its origin.
[4] That is to say, repeating the history of our very early ancestors,
where the female probably felt some resentment towards the male who had
encompassed her maternity, and who most certainly would live apart from
her and not in the ordinary contact of a united life.
This passing phase, whether it lasts a few days or months, is neither
necessary nor absolutely universal, but so far as I can ascertain it
appears to be a common occurrence in the lives of the more sensitive
and tenderly loving of wives. Where the coming child has not been
desired by both parents, and where the mother resents her coming
maternity, there is, of course, a totally different problem for
which there is a very obvious reason. I am speaking now only of the
mother-to-be who deeply desires her child, who is physically healthy
and well formed, living under comfortable, protected and happy
conditions, and who ardently loves and is loved by her husband; it is
she who may and most frequently does feel this passing phase of intense
physical antagonism. That she loves, and consciously loves, gives her
an outward control so that this under-current of inherent antagonism is
not allowed to show, and is gallantly concealed from the whole world.
She would feel it an intense disloyalty to speak of it to any living
soul, but it is there and it is so often a source of distress and
strain upon the nervous system that it should be openly faced instead
of being as it now is a repressed feeling. This repression tends to
result in one of the greatest difficulties of the _healthy_ woman who
is carrying a child, namely sleeplessness. The complex balance of her
nervous control is strained by her surprise at herself, and perhaps by
her self-reproaches, and thus she has an unnecessary burden in addition
to the one of the coming child. This phase, therefore, is not a fact
to be ignored or treated too lightly, and while it lasts it should be
respected so far as is compatible with the circumstances of the two and
with due regard for the mother. It is not a thing either to fear or
to be ashamed of. It is perhaps best openly faced as a fact of rather
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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