The atmosphere alone of Venice gave her a feeling of rest and peace; the
silent gliding of gondolas through the canals, the long drawn-out
sonorous cries of the gondoliers, the soft wash of the water against the
richly tinted walls, all lulled her senses. She realized that afternoon
is the time to see Venice, the strong light of morning throws into
intolerable relief the decay of the city; the St. Martin's Summer of the
glorious Republic requires the mellow haze of the hours before sunset,
as a fading beauty is best seen by candle light, and often in the
afternoon, she would slip away to some old church, and in solitary
musing to steep herself in the wonderful atmosphere of golden autumn.
Most often of all, she went to S. Maria Formosa, and would sit for hours
in contemplation of Palma Vecchio's Santa Barbara. She loved the strong,
voluptuous, calm woman, beautiful with the beauty of the corn-harvest,
standing clear-eyed and self-possessed in her rich russet draperies. All
the richness and fulness of the earth seemed symbolized in this glorious
creature, this Woman of women. "Ceres," the girl called her, for in her
appearance, there is nothing of the saintly, nothing of the ascetic,
rather the promise of abundant voluptuous joy--not pleasure, but
something deeper, graver, more fundamental, the earnest of a bounteous
harvest of life.
She sought the mellow golden glow of S. Mereo, at that hour, when the
level rays of the declining sun fill the air with a mystic radiance,
seemingly the golden impalpable dust of centuries of prayer. The
softened splendour filled her soul, and warmed it, as generous wine
warms the veins, and the heavy odour of the incense drugged her
restless memory to temporary oblivion. She followed from afar, the
offices, and once was tempted to make the sacred sign with the holy
water at the door, as she left. She dipped her fingers in the stoup,
then smiled and wiped them on her handkerchief, ashamed of the impulse;
did not her reason tell her that all these observances were mere
foolishness? Still she could not deny the craving of her heart for some
sort of mystic communion with the souls of the simple worshippers about
her. She loved to watch the rays mount until they touched, with a
fleeting radiance, the gold mosaics of the domes, then disappeared,
carrying the glory with them. But afterwards, in the sudden darkness,
the star-like tapers about the high altar gained a mystic significance,
and the little floating lights in glasses, like glow-worms in the dusk,
before the smaller shrines, seemed tiny beacons set for the wandering
soul, or were they merely will-o'-the-wisps, luring one to a sense of
false security? The spirit of it all breathed consolation and peace, but
she saw it as through a glass; she longed to enter the sanctuary, but
felt herself barred out by impalpable barriers. The haven seemed to lie
before her eyes, but the path was hidden. "There was the door to which I
found no key," she quoted to herself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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