"This will never do," she said to herself resolutely, and rising, she
went to the window. There was no moon, but everything showed clearly in
the light northern night. The trees near the house rose in a dark
stippled mass against the sky. Everything was peaceful and quiet, only
the drowsy twittering of birds broke the silence from time to time; the
owl had gone. Ragna stood at the window breathing the chill night air
and let the peace of the night sink into her soul. When she was quite
calm she closed the window and taking the candle walked resolutely over
to the bed and stood there, looking. The face of the dead woman wore an
expression of ineffable peace--a repose almost inhuman in its
detachment. Her white hair was brushed in smooth bandeaux over her brow,
her features, ashy grey with violet shadows, appeared almost unreal, as
though carved in some strange alabaster. Her hands, waxen and stiff
with bluish nails lay folded on her bosom. The flickering light of the
candle lent no semblance of life. Ingeborg's words came to Ragna's mind.
Where indeed was the spirit that had animated this clay? And to the
question she found no answer. In the actual presence of death the
formally taught maxims regarding a future life--a life of reward and
punishment--fell to the ground; the flimsiness of all speculation on the
Life hereafter appeared naked to the girl's eyes.
"No one can know, no one can tell," she thought, "it is a mystery, but
at least one may find peace--she has found peace!" She stooped and
reverently kissed her grandmother's cold hands, then she returned to her
seat.
The moment had been a crucial one, for in that instant of putting her
conventional belief to the touchstone of reality, it had failed and she
recognized the fact; the bed-rock on which her childish faith had been
built fell from beneath her feet, for, if she lost her belief in part,
disbelief in all must follow. A chain is no stronger than its weakest
link, but the weak link in her chain was not, as she thought, the
insufficient grounds for belief, rather the formality of her teaching;
to her the "letter which killeth" had indeed become dead, and of the
"Spirit which giveth light" she knew as yet nothing. This one thing she
knew, that never again should she be afraid of the dead or of death. "It
is peace," she said to herself softly, "it is like sleep when one is
very, very tired."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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