The Superior remained alone, leaning her head on her hand. She thought
of the many young lives under her care, of the many girls she had seen
come and go. She thought of the many natures hopelessly warped by a
mistaken or untimely severity, shut in upon themselves, black-frosted,
as it were, in the very hour when they most need drawing out, training
and guiding by a sympathetic hand. She loved Ragna, her whole heart was
drawn to the girl in admiration for her generous assumption of the
other's fault. "She is too ready to take up others' burdens," she
thought; "God send that her own be not too heavy for her shoulders!"
The bell for Benediction interrupted her meditation. As she walked along
the passages to the Chapel the same thought pursued her, and when from
her carved stall she recognized Ragna's fair head, bowed among her
fellows, she seemed to see the halo of future suffering about it.
Ragna bending over her prayer-book, was wondering what the punishment
would be; and half defiantly she squared her shoulders to meet it. She
thought of Astrid, divided between contemptuous pity, and real sympathy
for the agonized fear displayed by the butterfly creature.
Astrid was sobbing her heart out, her face hid between her hands. She
despised herself for her weakness, and reproached herself for letting
Ragna take the blame. Later she would resent her friend's generosity,
but just now she fairly grovelled in self-abasement; she took a morbid
delight in mortifying herself in her own eyes, as formerly she had
exulted in the thought of her sentimental superiority over her comrades.
The level rays of sunlight tinged with the glory of Saints, touched the
rows of young heads, passing over some, distinguishing others, colouring
with purple and crimson the tresses, dark and fair, of the kneeling
girls, and the Chaplain holding aloft the Ostensory with its symbol of
the Great Sacrifice, glowed in a mystic radiance. Then the light went,
and the tapers on the altar twinkled like stars in the sudden twilight.
After the concluding hymns, Ragna and Astrid were again conducted to the
Superior's sitting-room, to hear her decision. The Reverend Mother had
chosen a good moment, for the service of Benediction had had its effect
on the impressionable girlish natures. Ragna was softened, and Astrid
had found moral courage enough to overcome her selfish fear.
The Reverend Mother at once saw the change and profited by it, so that
almost without their knowing it, she had soon drawn a full confession
from both girls. Astrid, once fairly started, and prone as ever to
exaggeration, would have known no limits to her self-abasement,
luxuriating in her confession of guilt, had she not been almost sternly
controlled and restrained.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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