Dr. Crack was also another intimate of the Countess. He at least thought that he thought; and his ambition was to unite the philosopher with the man of fashion; which very ambition was proof positive that he never thought to any good purpose. He had endeavoured by various theories to immortalise himself; but, unfortunately, he was so conscientious, that he suffered facts to overturn his theories, and so none of them lasted long enough to establish his reputation. He also was very powerful in common-place, but nothing equal to Mr. Tippetson. His style of talk was very magnificent, so much so that the Countess of Trimmerstone could not always understand his fine words and his long elaborate sentences. This is not said by way of depreciating the understanding of her ladyship; for many minds of a much higher order than hers would have found quite as great difficulty in comprehending the meaning of many of Dr. Crack’s prodigiously wise speeches. It may readily be imagined that a lady of rank whose most intimate acquaintants were such as Mr. Tippetson and Dr. Crack, could not have much relish for a life of retirement, wherein her enjoyments must be of her own procuring, and must have their seat in the mind. When, therefore, his lordship mentioned the topic of retirement, it by no means met with her ladyship’s approbation. She laughed at his lordship’s gravity. That was bad policy; for laughing at gravity only makes it worse. By this mode of treating her lord’s humors, the Countess made him angry and positive; then he insisted and commanded; and then, in the wantonness of resistance and the impotence of opposition, her ladyship refused to obey. That was very great folly; because she could not help herself, and obey she must. Then his lordship was more positive and more angry; then her ladyship was more vexed, and burst into a flood of tears. This last expression seems to us a very foolish one, and an absolute contradiction; but it sounds very fine, and is generally understood in England; and is much more eloquent than simply saying that her ladyship cried, or wept, or shed tears. Her ladyship also would have gone into hysterics; but that part of her education had been sadly neglected, therefore she could only cry and be sulky. His lordship, however, was very positive; and in that positive humor did he depart from his home, and direct his steps to the house of his troublesome but indispensable relative, Mr. Martindale. At that house Mr. Henry Augustus Tippetson was at that moment paying his most gracious attention to Clara; and the poor girl was listening with all the complacency of indifference to his silly prate concerning last night’s opera. Mr. Tippetson had just persuaded the young lady to indulge him so far as to permit him to hear one of Rossini’s airs on the piano-forte; and the first bar was hardly finished, when the arrival of the Earl of Trimmerstone was announced.