There was nothing to explain why Miss Warriner, in particular, should
have so disturbed him; the English women seated about her were as fair;
she showed no great sorrow in her face; her beauty was not of the
type which carried observers by assault. And yet not one of the many
beautiful women who on one night or another passed before Edouard in the
soft light of the red shades had ever stirred him so strangely, had ever
depressed him with such a tender melancholy, and filled his soul--the
soul of a Hungarian and a musician--with such loneliness and unrest. He
knew that, so far as he was concerned, she was as distant as the Venus
in the Louvre; she was, for him, a beautiful, unapproachable statue,
placed, by some social convention, upon a pedestal.
As he looked at her he felt hotly the degradation of his silly uniform,
of the striped sash around his waist, the tawdry braids, and the
tasselled boots. He felt as he had often felt before, but now more
keenly than ever, the prostitution of his art in this temple of the
senses, this home of epicures, where people met to feast their eyes and
charm their palates. He could not put his feelings into words, and he
knew that if by some upheaval of the social world he should be thrown
into her presence he would still be bound, he would not be able to speak
or write what she inspired in him. But--and at the thought he breathed
quickly, and raised his shoulders with a touch of pride--he could tell
her in his own way; after his own fashion he could express what he felt
better even than those other men could tell what they feel--these men
for whose amusement he performed nightly, to whom it was granted to sit
at her side, who spoke the language of her class and of her own people.
Edouard was not given to analyzing his emotions; like the music of his
Tzigane ancestors, they came to him sweeping every chord in his nature,
beating rapidly to the time of the Schardash, or with the fitfulness of
the gypsy folksongs sinking his spirits into melancholy. So he did not
stop to question why this one face so suddenly inspired him; he only
knew that he felt grateful, that he was impatient to pay his tribute
of admiration, that he was glad he was an artist who could give his
feelings voice.
In the long programme of selected airs he remembered that there was one
which would give him this chance to speak, in the playing of which he
could put all his skill and all his soul, an air which carried with it
infinite sadness and the touch of a caress. The other numbers on the
programme had been chosen to please the patrons of a restaurant,
this one, La Lettre d'Amour, was included in the list for his own
satisfaction. He had put it there to please himself; to-night he would
play it to please her--to this unknown girl who had so suddenly awakened
and inspired him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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