At this direct address to myself, I neither fainted, shuddered, nor
cried--I felt, at the time, a little stupefied: and it was some hours
after (the hideous man's words all the time ringing in my ears) before I
fully comprehend my hopeless state of perdition. I looked at the fire
as I sat by it, and trembled. I went to bed, but not to sleep. No
child ever haunted by a ghost-story was more terrified than myself, as I
lay panting on my tear-steeped pillow. At length, imagination began its
dreadful charms--the room enlarged itself in its gloom to vast space--I
began to hear cries from under my bed. Some dark bodies first of all
flitted across the gloaming. My bed began to rock. I tried to sing a
hymn. I thought that the words came out of my mouth in flames of bright
fire. I then called to mind the offerings from the altars of Cain and
Abel. I watched to see if my hymns turned into fire, and ascended up to
heaven. I felt a cold horror when I discovered them scattered from my
mouth exactly in the same manner that I had seen the flames in the
engraving in our large Bible on the altar of Cain. Then there came a
huge block of wood, and stationed itself in the air above me, about six
inches from my eyes. I remember no more--I was in a raging fever.
I was ill for some weeks, and a helpless invalid for many more. When
again I enjoyed perception of the things around me, I found myself in a
new house in Red Cross Street, near Saint Luke's. My foster-parents had
opened a shop--it had the appearance of a most respectable fruiterer's.
Mr Brandon had become a small timber-merchant, had sawpits in the
premises behind the house, and men of his own actually sawing in them.
But the most surprising change of all was, that the reverend Mr Cate
was domesticated with us. Brandon, as a master, worked harder than ever
he did as a man. My nurse became anxious and careworn, and never seemed
happy--for my part, I was so debilitated, that I then took but little
notice of anything. However, the beautiful lady never called. I used
to spend my time thinking upon angels and cherubs, and in learning hymns
by heart. I suppose that I, like my foster-father, had had my call, but
I am sure that after it, I was as much weaker in mind as I was in body.
When I became strong enough to be again able to run about, I was once
more sent to a day-school, and all that I remember about the matter was,
that every day about eleven o'clock, I was told to run home and get a
wigful of potatoes from Brandon's, the venerable pedagogue coolly taking
off his wig, and exchanging it for a red night-cap, until my return with
the provender.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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