Recollections of a chaperonSullivan, Arabella Jane
General
Recollections of a chaperon
Sullivan, Arabella Jane
English fiction -- 19th century
The gradual decline of wedded happiness is a melancholy subject of
contemplation to the most indifferent by-stander; how much more
so to one deeply interested in the welfare of both parties! She
felt justified in her dejection. Perhaps, if she had witnessed the
unrestrained flow of confidence, the fulness of mutual devotion,
she might not have found the sight so exhilarating as she sincerely
believed it would have been. However that might be, reassured by her
sorrow at not seeing her wishes for their happiness fulfilled—that her
joy, if they were fulfilled, would be as great, she reposed in fancied
security that the interest she took in his welfare was that of simple
friendship, and she did not think it necessary to avoid him, if he
found her alone in the drawing-room, where he in vain sought the wife
of whom he was still deeply enamoured.
He would sometimes sigh to find her still absent, and would
occasionally express his desire of a more domestic life; he even
confessed feelings of discontent and dissatisfaction—he wished his
wife would give him more of her society—he wished her disposition was
more like Fanny’s.
These words fell on her ear with a sensation she scarcely knew how to
define. Was it pleasure?—was it pain?
It is a dangerous situation for any young woman to be the confidante
of any young man’s sorrows, especially if they proceed from blighted
affections and deceived hopes; but to Fanny, how tenfold dangerous!
The world is scarcely sufficiently indulgent to those who are deprived
of the tender vigilance of a mother; nor are the young who enjoy such
a blessing, sufficiently thankful for possessing it. Had Lady Elmsley
lived, Fanny would never have been placed in the position of confidante
to the domestic sorrows of the man who had won her young affections, as
the lover approved of, and courted by, her parents. Was it in nature
that she should not think, “If I had been his choice, the happiness of
which he so feelingly deplores the loss might then
‘Have blest his home, and crown’d our wedded loves.’”
Another circumstance occurred, which roused her from the security into
which she had lulled herself.
Among the multitudes of young men who frequented Lady Delaford’s
house, some were sensible to the unpresuming charms of Fanny, and
especially Lord John Ashville became seriously attached to her. There
was no possible objection to him, and Isabella flattered herself she
should have the pleasure of announcing to Sir Edward that, under her
auspices, Fanny had made a brilliant match. Both she and Lord Delaford
were astonished when he was rejected, and Fanny herself was grieved to
find she could not love him, as she thought it her bounden duty to love
the person to whom she should swear eternal constancy. She would have
been glad to prove to herself that former impressions were completely
obliterated; but she could not succeed in persuading herself that she
preferred him to all others.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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