As to the mere excitement proceeding from the public applause of a
theater, I am sure you will believe me when I say I do not think I
shall ever experience it. But should I reckon too much upon my own
steadiness, I have the incessant care and watchfulness of my dear
mother to rely on, and I do rely on it as an invaluable safeguard,
both to the purity and good taste of all that I may do on the
stage, and the quiet and soberness of my mind under all this new
excitement. She has borne all her anxieties wonderfully well, and I
now hope she will reap some repayment for them. My dear father is
very happy; indeed, we have all cause for heartfelt thankfulness
when we think what a light has dawned upon our prospects, lately so
dismal and overcast. My own motto in all this must be, as far as
possible, "Beget a temperance in all things." I trust I shall be
enabled to rule myself by it, and in the firm hope that my endeavor
to do what is right will be favored and assisted, I have committed
myself, nothing doubting, to the stormy sea of life. Dearest H----,
the papers will give you a detailed account of my _debut_; I only
wish to assure you that I have not embraced this course without due
dread of its dangers, and a firm determination to watch, as far as
in me lies, over its effect upon my mind. It is, after all, but
lately, you know, that I have become convinced that fame and
gratified ambition are not the worthiest aims for one's exertions.
With affectionate love, believe me ever your fondly attached
FANNY.
I most sincerely hope that your brother's health is improving, and
if we do not meet sooner, I shall now look forward to Dublin as our
_point de reunion_; that will not be the least of the obligations I
shall owe this happy turn of affairs.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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